tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47399530716334979032024-03-04T22:41:04.428-06:00In the MakingDs Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-47273468574390045972018-01-18T10:27:00.000-06:002018-01-18T13:16:37.098-06:005 Common Misconceptions About Women Who Can't Have Children [Me]<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7XcU5CXa9VkYJZxSrzFksgXATmIqYXsoJhbA6_6OspiEykXQa0QZraBltX8MjjqsORRoN2YDx4K2l6sZUaiRzReQDsaHKuuI3GD4kS7JriqPkdjEAc3jpVPBhJtYjhqq4pzIfQp0VheSp/s1600/Hearts.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="613" data-original-width="629" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7XcU5CXa9VkYJZxSrzFksgXATmIqYXsoJhbA6_6OspiEykXQa0QZraBltX8MjjqsORRoN2YDx4K2l6sZUaiRzReQDsaHKuuI3GD4kS7JriqPkdjEAc3jpVPBhJtYjhqq4pzIfQp0VheSp/s320/Hearts.png" width="320" /></a><span lang="en-US" style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;">This month marks four years since my hysterectomy. I've been settling some thoughts in my heart and want to share them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span lang="en-US" style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;"><strong><br />5 Common Misconceptions About Women Who Can't Have Children [Me]</strong></span></span></div>
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<span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 119%;">1] When I hold your babies or play with your children, I wish they were mine. </span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;">Your children are precious and I enjoy them, but it doesn’t cross my mind. The closest thought I have is </span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 119%;">I wonder what our child would have been like? </span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;">Thank you to all of our friends and family who share your sweet kiddos with us! </span></div>
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<span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 119%;">2] I avoid Mother’s Day services because I cannot handle it. </span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;">That might be the case for some but I steer clear for your sake. I don’t want others to have to worry about consoling me. Instead, we go to Silver Dollar City where no one knows and we just have fun. </span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;"><br /></span></div>
<span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 119%;">3] I have a hole in my heart and feel my life is incomplete.</span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;"> While it takes time to heal from the disappointment [maybe forever], my heart is whole and my life is full. There’s not a day that I wake up and think something is missing. I’m grateful to God for that. </span><br />
<span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 119%;">4] Fostering or adoption is the next step. </span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;">Not always and that’s okay. We know these are huge, life-changing decisions built around following God’s plan for us. We still don’t know what is ahead of us but it can, and likely will, look different from anyone else we know. </span><br />
<span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 119%;">5] I feel like less of a woman. </span><span lang="en-US" style="font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;">This is another area where God has graciously protected me. My identity and self-worth are not tied to reproduction. I may not be able to share in the birthing or breastfeeding conversations, but I’m still a woman with a lot of other conversations yearning to be had.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "century gothic";"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif;"><span lang="en-US" style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 119%;">I s<span style="color: black; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-contextual-alternates: yes; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">hare these pieces of my heart to let you know I'm okay. Even though it still hurts, at times, I'm happy and look forward to the future. I look forward to seeing God's plans for us continually unfold, as we trust Him. I look forward to Him using our story to help others.</span></span></span></span>Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-26145168258836826212016-05-13T13:56:00.000-05:002016-05-13T14:03:06.633-05:00I saw my husband before I knew he existed<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_1Q4bssu7nMGK5NnP3KPwrh6eVnfbrMPbUavDXhUhIT9MFH3SRm-rdGRe5x9flOvx_0SlGyMnEzxZTEGMBPrpIXbnmj4DOV2JsumtjBBaBwFVDJprACUCG_XyTQ5CWwv9EnUlGu7XO2SY/s1600/Smiling+Dave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_1Q4bssu7nMGK5NnP3KPwrh6eVnfbrMPbUavDXhUhIT9MFH3SRm-rdGRe5x9flOvx_0SlGyMnEzxZTEGMBPrpIXbnmj4DOV2JsumtjBBaBwFVDJprACUCG_XyTQ5CWwv9EnUlGu7XO2SY/s320/Smiling+Dave.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">A few months ago, our small group talked about how God speaks to us through visions and
dreams. I was reminded of my most memorable vision. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It was the summer before I moved
to Springfield. I was in a worship service with my eyes closed when I saw a dim
glimpse of a man. I only saw features - blue eyes, blonde hair with a little
curl to it and a big smile. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I felt God speak to me,
"This is the man I have for you. He will love and appreciate the things
that I have placed inside you, not just your outward beauty. He is smiling
because he is happy but also because He loves Me."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><b>I knew it was a vision from God.
I knew it was a piece of hope to my heart. I knew it was direction for the
future.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I moved to Springfield a few
weeks later. I met Dave on a Sunday night at Central Assembly of God. However,
I didn't connect the vision to him. I truly believe God blocked it from my
memory so I would not overthink building a foundational friendship with Dave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">A couple of months later, I was
standing in my bedroom and the vision came back to me. I looked up at God and
said, "Is this him? Really? This soon?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I called my mom and my brother
asking them what I asked God. They both said the exact same thing, "Why
not? You've been faithful to God."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">God speaks to us every
single day in so many different ways. Be listening. Be watching. Be expecting</span>Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-47694879678985361072015-11-23T13:23:00.003-06:002015-11-23T13:24:15.778-06:00Colors of Love<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Written for Dave, in honor or our sixth wedding anniversary.</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNGp_E6o7P9TRuSuFhHA9-tknJ8M8jjwry0Y_EZwfl2MMkxZ63lgF4QTGtsAC3bsHEyyxL490pOO25iHLlnoO5xA41x7R1YWdJ6xso8q3LKWwxvwpUgCMJl5Z1Y_pyZ0M5uwdrWmvHsUJl/s1600/Colors+of+Love.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNGp_E6o7P9TRuSuFhHA9-tknJ8M8jjwry0Y_EZwfl2MMkxZ63lgF4QTGtsAC3bsHEyyxL490pOO25iHLlnoO5xA41x7R1YWdJ6xso8q3LKWwxvwpUgCMJl5Z1Y_pyZ0M5uwdrWmvHsUJl/s400/Colors+of+Love.png" width="300" /></a><br />
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Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-54178883738260795642015-07-25T14:56:00.000-05:002015-07-25T14:56:38.982-05:00When Truth Has No Voice<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A sea of whispers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">melts down my back<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">searing scars form<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">clear waters become black.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rearranging words, exchanging stories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lies linger longer<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">when truth has no voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A sea of tears<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">melts down my face<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">writhing scars scream<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">the depth of my disgrace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rearranging words, exchanging stories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lies linger longer<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">when truth has no voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A sea of peace<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">melts into my soul<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">healing scars remind<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">truth will be known.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-83397771353074124822015-04-14T15:07:00.000-05:002015-04-14T15:08:11.847-05:00The lie that I can handle it [alone]<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-FOAwFimfgua8nO6Z784igyDamlwR7rr2YjjUnSyiK8XuPKiIqzTyRhM43-KwawScbycndmMPp1YwGlJubpF7AeQt2Z7eViFM1XCkAeWqwQbkOZgPQJAWV_wDZ4WV4fsIpHBd_a7d-5gQ/s1600/peanut+butter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-FOAwFimfgua8nO6Z784igyDamlwR7rr2YjjUnSyiK8XuPKiIqzTyRhM43-KwawScbycndmMPp1YwGlJubpF7AeQt2Z7eViFM1XCkAeWqwQbkOZgPQJAWV_wDZ4WV4fsIpHBd_a7d-5gQ/s1600/peanut+butter.jpg" height="249" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">A couple of weeks ago I decided I
would buy some peanut butter. I hadn't bought any in about a year because I
found out I have a slight allergy to peanuts (all legumes). It makes my tongue
itchy, tingly and gives me sores almost instantly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Well, I decided I was doing so
well that I could handle it. So, I bought a big jar for $4 compared to the
little jar of almond butter for $7. I told myself that I was saving money and
it was going to be fine. It wasn't. I made a huge peanut butter sandwich with
banana slices. I thoroughly enjoyed it…for about two minutes. Then came the
itchy tongue. Then the tingly tongue. Then the sore on the tip of my tongue. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I was frustrated that I couldn't
just eat something I have eaten my whole life but I was more frustrated with
myself. My track record told me what would happen but since I hadn’t had any
issues, I just thought I could start eating peanut butter again. Wrong. I wasn’t
having issues because I wasn't eating peanut butter </span><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">–</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> DUH! :-)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I started to think about how
often I subconsciously believe the lie that I can handle it [alone]. It = any part of my life that I try to do in my own strength. I do
well and my reliance on God starts dropping off. I don't notice right away but
then there's a moment when I realize how very, very tired I am </span><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">–</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> just flat out
weary from running on my human, exhaustible strength.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><b>The truth is I can't handle life
alone and I'm not made to handle it alone. </b>Whether it’s thoughts, planning the
future, showing love to others, eating healthy, exercising, working </span><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">–</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> WHATEVER
"it" may be </span><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">–</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> I'm not built to do life without Christ's strength.
Why? Because I am weak. And, in my surrendered weakness, His strength is
perfect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">If I’m not relying on the Lord,
I'm not making room for Him to work in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">If I’m not making room for Him to
work in my life, I’m doing life alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">If I’m doing life alone, I'm not fully surrendered to Christ.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It seems harsh, but it's true. At
the heart of my relationship with Jesus, is giving Him my weak moments, my strong moments and everything in between. It must be continuous dependence on Him or else I'll lose myself in myself. I don't want that. Besides, </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">there's so much
more peace, rest and joy when I rely on Him and not myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Here are a few verses that remind
me where to find my strength and how God honors a dependence on Him:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Look to the Lord and His
strength; seek His face always. </span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">1 Chronicles 16:11<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Have you not known? Have you not
heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives
power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even
youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they
who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings
like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. </span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Isaiah 40:28-31<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><i>But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.</i> II Corinthians 12:9</span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-3650179230719775962015-04-06T08:46:00.000-05:002015-04-13T08:47:07.159-05:00Sharing my story<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqZnBquts-VwTLFWikVvkpEtIaOj6jjAXnbuDJ1vBJqwT5ZvIjGukZSMz2WGbpPUaS_SOzitbFstlkxXIraYLYOU7IvgHCcLZNuPIR4qqeSfQicdLRBz6cxNo9c31-hyRDNgrBQ27Z066v/s1600/my+hysterstory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqZnBquts-VwTLFWikVvkpEtIaOj6jjAXnbuDJ1vBJqwT5ZvIjGukZSMz2WGbpPUaS_SOzitbFstlkxXIraYLYOU7IvgHCcLZNuPIR4qqeSfQicdLRBz6cxNo9c31-hyRDNgrBQ27Z066v/s1600/my+hysterstory.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was honored to share my story at <a href="http://hysterectomy.org/">Hysterectomy.org</a> for Hysterectomy Awareness Month. When pain finds purpose,
there’s a level of comfort and assurance that also brings healing and hope. To
read my story, visit the link below <a href="http://www.hysterectomy.org/christys-hysterectomy-story/">http://www.hysterectomy.org/christys-hysterectomy-story/</a> </span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-59978004664918011872015-01-12T12:41:00.000-06:002015-01-12T12:43:25.263-06:00Jesus is my emotional bellhop [and so much more]<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyWbQODNcc3f9dwWea_CS9DgpwLryJWzHpTiZwqzQk4V6nCoGP1LJjr0Oj9_SgtkomycpU9lHDChq8qL_v6oWgnO58tmFxu0AFDltM9oFiK_G3kohcZQxTPmPU-ShS229II1vlcHFP1MtX/s1600/more+lugguage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyWbQODNcc3f9dwWea_CS9DgpwLryJWzHpTiZwqzQk4V6nCoGP1LJjr0Oj9_SgtkomycpU9lHDChq8qL_v6oWgnO58tmFxu0AFDltM9oFiK_G3kohcZQxTPmPU-ShS229II1vlcHFP1MtX/s1600/more+lugguage.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I load up all of my emotions and give them to Jesus.
Sometimes I think I'm rid of them but end up taking them back, unpacking them
and wearing them all over again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I think, for the most part, it's a process. I wish I
could always pack them up, give them to Jesus and never see them again. I
love those rare times when they are gone for good, but that's just not what
real life looks like because I'm human.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It's pretty wonderful how Jesus is always willing to
carry my baggage. He lovingly takes it from me, even when it's the same stuff
over and over. I never sense frustration or judgment. That's because He truly
knows what it's like to live in our world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">While I’m not an outwardly emotional person, I am a thinker
which can lead me through many thoughts and emotions that can easily drain the
life out of me. What can I do to consistently give Jesus my emotional baggage,
but also allow Him to change what my baggage looks like?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Be aware of what I'm carrying. </span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I consider myself to
be a "strong" person and I tend to bear burdens that Jesus didn't
intend for me to carry – for myself or for others. It's important for me to
evaluate what I'm carrying because I can easily find myself under a heaping
load, trying to carry it all by myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I can’t carry all
these people by myself! The load is far too heavy!</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> Numbers 11:14 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This scripture is when Moses was leading the people
out of Egypt. He was weary from being the sole person in charge. His awareness
of carrying the overwhelming load led to his vocalization to God for help. In
that instant, God gave Him the wisdom to deal with the situation and relief
came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It is the same for me...when I finally
see I’m carrying too much and ask God for help, He provides some form of an
answer that brings relief. Routinely checking myself can save me a lot of wasted energy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Hand it all over. </span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The moment I recognize I'm
dealing with emotions that only Jesus can touch or heal, I must surrender them
to Him. It’s a place of total submission – no longer wanting to control and
knowing I truly can’t control. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Therefore humble
yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, cast
all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> I Peter 6:7<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I love it when I see something I have never seen
before. I’ve quoted the second part of this verse many times but what an impact
the first has. Humbling myself under the mighty hand of God comes before
casting all my cares on Him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Why is that? Because that’s an act of surrender and
it’s the only way I can fully surrender my cares. An amazing thing happens when
I do this, I feel a peace and a lightness that allows me to rest in Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Realize I don't have to take it back, or at least not
all of it. </span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I don’t always see this when it’s happening because it
usually happens over time, piece by piece I take back all of the junk. For me,
this occurs in the mental realm and I’m learning to not only sift through my
thoughts/emotions but also refuse the ones I identify as untruths. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">For the weapons of our warfare are
not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down
arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God,
bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,<sup> </sup>and
being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled. </span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">II Corinthians 10:4-6<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">God has given us weapons of
warfare directly connected to our thoughts and this is confirmation that many
of the biggest battles are within the mind. The only way to counter the attacks
of lies from the enemy and self is to rely on God’s word – the absolute truth
that breathes life and hope into weary despair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I’m not always successful
when it comes to using scripture to fight the mental battle of emotions, but
when I do, there’s a shift in my spirit and my perspective becomes clearer. I
begin to see things for what they truly are and stop holding on to baggage that
just isn’t true or healthy – this is when I see the transformation take place
and Jesus helps me redefine what I allow to stay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><b>Yes. Jesus is my emotional bellhop [and so much more].</b> If I left it at bellhop, what kind of relationship would that be? "Here, take my baggage. I'll tip you for a good job done but give it back to me in the same condition you found it." </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">No. If I let Him, Jesus not only takes my baggage, but He helps me to release what I'm not meant to carry, to discard the things that hold me down and He sets me free from bondage. In Him, I find true freedom </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;">– freedom to live and be who He has called me to be. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Come to Me, all you
who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. <sup> </sup>Take My
yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you
will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. </span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> Matthew 11:28-30</span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-12262721197797876552014-11-28T12:05:00.000-06:002014-11-28T12:05:35.146-06:00No relationship can take the place of Jesus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkslY4pjJ14agxCjC-SyzyPqZZYjmim2HpsSHSSXOS7M5U6R0CRYA2hr-yOHdJyHXC-_PS9WV1nNKCunv3euTxVzkTgcyBPdA2WyK85X2qOrs3sZSGVInJ6OMWsexHJn0jmmYOfvIyMXWc/s1600/place+in+my+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkslY4pjJ14agxCjC-SyzyPqZZYjmim2HpsSHSSXOS7M5U6R0CRYA2hr-yOHdJyHXC-_PS9WV1nNKCunv3euTxVzkTgcyBPdA2WyK85X2qOrs3sZSGVInJ6OMWsexHJn0jmmYOfvIyMXWc/s1600/place+in+my+heart.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Lately, I've been searching for
deeper friendships. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I started a women's small
group. It has been fun and I've gotten closer to some women, but the void in my
heart is still there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I have tried to get to know a
few friends better. It has been successful on some fronts but the void in my
heart is still there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">In my attempts to foster deeper
friendships, I realized I was trying to fill a void that only Jesus can. His
friendship is the only one that will truly satisfy my soul. Cultivating deeper relationships is a good
thing, but no relationship can take the place of Jesus. Why is that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">No one can love like Jesus.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> His
love is unconditional. I am already funny enough, smart enough and pretty
enough for Jesus. Just as I am, He loves me like crazy. Through that
unconditional love, He gave His life for me with no guarantee I would return
His love. That's a love I really can't comprehend but I receive it because I
need that kind of love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">There is no greater love than
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. </span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">John 15:13<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">N<b>o one can understand like
Jesus. </b>He gets me – every part of me. You see, I'm still hurting. I'm still
grieving the loss of my womb. No person can truly understand what’s going on in
my heart. As much as I try to explain or connect, no person can fill that place
and heal me – only Jesus can. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This
High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same
testings we do, yet He did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our
gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help
us when we need it most</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">. Hebrews 4:15-16<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><b>No one can be there all time like Jesus. </b>I cannot wear Jesus out. He is always ready and willing to spend time with me - anytime, anywhere. What a huge comfort to know I can call out to Him and He's never too tired to listen to me...He's never too busy to stop and sit with me. It blows my mind because I'm human with human capabilities. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><i>And be sure of this: I am will you always, even to the end of the age. </i>Matthew 28:20</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">While my friendships play an important role in my life, they are not designed to take the place of Jesus. So, I breathe a sigh of relief and keep taking my heart to Jesus.</span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-37542692001759161972014-11-06T09:31:00.000-06:002014-11-06T09:31:15.461-06:00A bike, roses & new tennis shoes<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">What do they have in common? They
are the real life places where love, romance and friendship flourish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_R_Q84N9kZ4yE8XGuB5ToCTDvaLObFt-_WlE4ivRI_9MI_z85d4lmS90V5rfDUJKZtrkbU3HZTjfgOnuFfE_j5KXNyLUHZpakhU7YABQ8-3cN5-Y5qQD0Dy2m63vhHFKDLZoNi4yOl1Dw/s1600/cruiser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_R_Q84N9kZ4yE8XGuB5ToCTDvaLObFt-_WlE4ivRI_9MI_z85d4lmS90V5rfDUJKZtrkbU3HZTjfgOnuFfE_j5KXNyLUHZpakhU7YABQ8-3cN5-Y5qQD0Dy2m63vhHFKDLZoNi4yOl1Dw/s1600/cruiser.jpg" /></a><b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">A bike.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> I've wanted a cruiser bike for a couple of years now and I
finally got one last week for my birthday. Dave has been looking on Craigslist
for the perfect one. He knew I wanted one with a retro look and a wide, comfy
seat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I’ve never met a man who listens
the way he does. He picks up on the things that are important to me and makes
them his priority. His love for me shines through and captures my heart again
and again. Not that it’s not his for the taking, but he
seldom allows it a chance to be anywhere else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdVJmU6lujHRr8kTmSv0D9X8-k4I_-sS4xC8JoJQc5oxjeOilaNT7Vja7une1spp3I0eSFSPHQ7BvaqC3HOb_EtDKoFLNY2c_sdlsmRUSPqC7fPPZnMW7t5Q6E1CgWfpHnJ3OfZbVDGYuC/s1600/Roses.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdVJmU6lujHRr8kTmSv0D9X8-k4I_-sS4xC8JoJQc5oxjeOilaNT7Vja7une1spp3I0eSFSPHQ7BvaqC3HOb_EtDKoFLNY2c_sdlsmRUSPqC7fPPZnMW7t5Q6E1CgWfpHnJ3OfZbVDGYuC/s1600/Roses.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Roses.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> October 31 – some know it as Halloween. Some know it as a stressful
day to get the kids all decked out in costumes. Some know it as just
another day. I will forever know it as the anniversary of our first date. I
don't expect Dave to remember, but he does. I definitely don't expect any
romantic gestures because he is romantic all year long. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This year, however, he enamored
me with a dozen roses and beautiful words. The roses were stunning and they made
me feel really special, but it was his words that brought thankful tears to my
eyes. He tells me God helps him to write the right stuff…and I believe that,
but I also believe it’s in his desire to romance me that these ideas unfold. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The greatest part about those
words is that I don’t need them to believe them. He already makes
me feel that way and when I read the words, it’s like my heart says, “he lives
this out each day.” So, while I soak up the flowers and
words, it’s the daily actions that surround them to give them so much
meaning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5R4Uqw6T9toPYkX7NPr-riQzkO1wnaWrrngHWYOcXLBmtFFo154dKqyx2F0IWKXmXGHg_CzgVicwwh9EG3MlWIqyduI7IhkEysV7LMp3z20e2RcjBTWqx_DdP5uXwUrTxgKElobfRZm49/s1600/new+tennis+shoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5R4Uqw6T9toPYkX7NPr-riQzkO1wnaWrrngHWYOcXLBmtFFo154dKqyx2F0IWKXmXGHg_CzgVicwwh9EG3MlWIqyduI7IhkEysV7LMp3z20e2RcjBTWqx_DdP5uXwUrTxgKElobfRZm49/s1600/new+tennis+shoes.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">New tennis shoes</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">. I'm getting into my running
groove again and I needed a new pair of tennis shoes. Dave spent Saturday
morning helping me try on shoes and pick the perfect balance of cute and cushy.
This meant multiple pairs of shoes and multiple stores. And, a little
Chick-fil-A break in between. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Shopping is not for the faint of
heart and most guys, including Dave, don’t have a huge tolerance for it. But, our
friendship is deep and it's out of that firm foundation we built years ago that
he honors me by going with me, bringing me shoes and being a part of the
process. Now, he certainly doesn’t go on every shopping excursion, but he knew I needed/wanted
his input and that's when it really counts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I love the quote, “love is
friendship set on fire.” If I could add one little thing to that it would be, “love
is friendship set on fire, fueled by romance.” I know it takes a lot more than those
three things to make marriage work, but they sure make it fun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-81303109393552103702014-11-03T13:20:00.002-06:002014-11-03T13:21:06.103-06:00Perfect vessels in glass cases<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQl18dqcItjRxjgDaydBzE8wGs-RnK5zLHMy6KCQSoRMpygqlTXd3XLusbyZWZLRdiTse8_EQYOBhTMsC8dnsZdI_obq1EZyUJENe-1y2xx0Q-gsNs5RTcqpIDCTYuLdx5qtZI6twRhHZ/s1600/ship+on+stormy+sea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQl18dqcItjRxjgDaydBzE8wGs-RnK5zLHMy6KCQSoRMpygqlTXd3XLusbyZWZLRdiTse8_EQYOBhTMsC8dnsZdI_obq1EZyUJENe-1y2xx0Q-gsNs5RTcqpIDCTYuLdx5qtZI6twRhHZ/s1600/ship+on+stormy+sea.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">While praying for a friend going
through a rough season, God showed me a powerful illustration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I saw a clear, glass case with a
pristine ship inside of it. I then saw hands take it out and put it in
stormy waters. I watched the ship as the waves beat upon it. Although it was
being whipped by the wind and waves, it never capsized or fell apart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I felt God say, <i>"I've taken this perfect vessel out of
its glass case so I can show the world My master craftsmanship. It is of no use
to Me unless I take it out and show what it’s made of.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Like my friend, many faithful
followers of Christ go through unexpected storms in life. I don’t have the
answers for this suffering, but I can say a few things that I know for sure:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">A life surrendered to God is used to speak to others in their
own storm.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> Living in a place of surrender brings about a true reliance on
God and it’s that dependence on Him that carries us through the rough waters. <i>Watching others faithfully walk through their
storms encourages me to keep walking and challenges me to keep my heart in a
place of surrender.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Serving God through the storm brings Him glory. </span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">By
staying on the ship during the storm, we point to God as the ultimate
shipbuilder. Even as the ship is being tossed around, God’s favor and
protection surrounds us. <i>God built the
ship to withstand the storm so, if I can just stand firm, He’ll bring me
through and it will glorify His name.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Faith is strengthened in preparation for the future.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> As God
upholds the vessel, a deep trust is formed – a trust that no force on earth can
shatter. This is the kind of heart posture God looks for in His servants and it
is what will take us to the places and hearts He has prepared for us. <i>Learning to live in that deep trust will
always strengthen my faith and lead me to the next steps God has for me.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Perfect vessels in glass cases are
pretty to look at, but they haven’t truly been used by the One who made them. They
haven’t really seen or tasted life. They serve only to be admired for their
appearance not their strength and endurance. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It’s the scraped and scarred
vessels who have faced the raging storms and survived that are the most
beautiful. In their darkest hour, they courageously find strength and peace in
the palm of their Master’s hand. That’s the kind of vessel I want to be. At the
risk of never seeing the glass case until Heaven, I pray God continues to place
me where He can use me…even if that be a stormy sea.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-59027868257158830252014-10-23T16:04:00.001-05:002014-10-23T16:05:42.076-05:00God doesn't waste pain<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLeKIK7J4EpvOV_n7j5NkCx-hSgYJkkfICs4UtI6gBEDjyDCvyQ_sBPyomzwb9Ju0XH5cGdoh81j7OXpcahFjtBswNokGxXpMzXEad5DIDBap8qCjoi5BvkiGD0EKuvjfbhuzFA-0xOtKT/s1600/God+doesn't%2Bwaste%2Bpain2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLeKIK7J4EpvOV_n7j5NkCx-hSgYJkkfICs4UtI6gBEDjyDCvyQ_sBPyomzwb9Ju0XH5cGdoh81j7OXpcahFjtBswNokGxXpMzXEad5DIDBap8qCjoi5BvkiGD0EKuvjfbhuzFA-0xOtKT/s1600/God+doesn't%2Bwaste%2Bpain2.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Photo by There Is Grace</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was privileged to guest post for my friend, Nancy, who is recovering from surgery. To read a piece of my story that many may not know, visit <a href="http://www.thereisgrace.com/god-doesnt-waste-pain/" target="_blank">There Is Grace</a>.</span>Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-73794250532987692352014-10-07T12:58:00.000-05:002014-10-07T12:58:58.628-05:00A rogue eyelash from Hades<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzyh5-rpUK-ln42oHh3VoQNhGK0UtJiXWR2i68u3fx9lFXq3S-goUZD1DTFRf6cFlLt0qW0VobG-Smvz7aPPszIfH6wCqc_KVi0EHU8ElOAvvJjDyEDUd28qmgduI0gOmJGzmtMDvdCdPz/s1600/eyelashes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzyh5-rpUK-ln42oHh3VoQNhGK0UtJiXWR2i68u3fx9lFXq3S-goUZD1DTFRf6cFlLt0qW0VobG-Smvz7aPPszIfH6wCqc_KVi0EHU8ElOAvvJjDyEDUd28qmgduI0gOmJGzmtMDvdCdPz/s1600/eyelashes.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Ever had a rogue eyelash? I had
one for several years and didn't know it was the mystery thing I was constantly
trying to get out of my eye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I spent a lot of time searching
for whatever was scratching my eye only to end up frustrated when I found
nothing. It may sound silly but it was a huge nuisance that afflicted me
daily.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This was the saga of my right eye until last year when I had the great idea of using my super-magnifying mirror
at an angle. To my amazement, it was an eyelash growing towards my eye. I was
so excited to finally have an answer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I remembered hearing somewhere
that eyelashes never grow back if you pluck them. I figured I had plenty of
eyelashes and I was done with how this tiny eyelash messed with me. I confidently
took my tweezers and plucked that baby. The relief was immediate and the
freedom my eye felt was a confirmation of my decision.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Until this week, I had been
free from that rogue eyelash from Hades. To my dismay it has grown back!!
Someone out there is wrong...eyelashes do grow back. They grow back and they
repeat the same offense. Not cool. Thankfully, I already have the answer and I
have a date with my magnifying mirror to pluck it again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">My point, you ask? Dealing with a rogue eyelash can be a lot like dealing with life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Sometimes the most natural reaction isn’t right.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> In my
search for the source of my discomfort, I never thought it was my own eyelash
growing towards my eye. It was natural to think it was something that had
fallen in my eye and not that my own eye was causing the problem. When I evaluate
situations to see what went wrong and I can’t say I start with myself first
because, let’s face it, that’s not fun. I’m learning to kick pride out which
means I have to force myself to look at me first. This isn’t a natural response;
it’s actually quite painful. But, every single time I humble myself in this
way, it brings such growth and peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Sometimes it just takes a different angle to truly see the
situation.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> It wasn’t until I flipped the mirror sideways that the light
shined on that eyelash. It wasn’t a one dimensional kind of situation and life’s
situations aren’t either. There’s always more going on than what I can conceive
and when I take the time to see all sides, I gain insight which brings
understanding. Many times, understanding is the pathway to resolution – when I
validate someone by acknowledging where they’re coming from, I see and deal with them through eyes of grace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Sometimes the same issue has to be dealt with more than once
(maybe repeatedly) but that doesn’t mean defeat. </span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Dealing
with my eyelash is symbolic of all the places I have to continually confront
and uproot from my life. It may be a small matter that can easily be “plucked”
once a year or it may be a huge matter that takes some serious thought, prayer
and energy several times a year. It can be so discouraging to face the same
thing over and over, but the key is to keep walking with consistency. If I remind
myself I have battled this before and that I know how to win, I will win again. </span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-69076816873560158112014-09-26T11:32:00.001-05:002014-09-26T11:33:28.595-05:00God told me to get over myself<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz_FG2bBtJkDb7_YYRUtla4ahB08j_j8z9hMqhNnKTuwHq72JhUG_IfwEtSSNNY3-kW0qXfeSJtDRgRVhjw7xI8B7XVxsyH6Hecu5X5q2B8Dmft8ZUrzT1B53RY0GxDXmEfBuxGjcAiz6E/s1600/Get+over.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz_FG2bBtJkDb7_YYRUtla4ahB08j_j8z9hMqhNnKTuwHq72JhUG_IfwEtSSNNY3-kW0qXfeSJtDRgRVhjw7xI8B7XVxsyH6Hecu5X5q2B8Dmft8ZUrzT1B53RY0GxDXmEfBuxGjcAiz6E/s1600/Get+over.PNG" height="292" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Standing in the worship service, I was struggling to keep my
thoughts at rest </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">–</span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> thinking of how I felt frumpy in my outfit, my hair looking all
crazy and…the list goes on. My mind was not focused on God because I was
consumed with what I thought of myself and what others might be thinking of me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In that moment, I felt God say, "Get over yourself. There is
so much more going on if you would take your focus off yourself and place it on
Me."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was convicted. I asked God to forgive me. My mind became clear
and my heart began to soar. Conviction led to repentance which led to such a
freedom. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Not thinking about myself frees me to be who God has created me to
be. </b>The real me that isn’t concerned with what anyone else might
think. The real me that is confident in my uniqueness. The real me that is free
to be me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Since I'm an introvert, I'm naturally extra self-aware. So, what
do I do when I realize I need to get over myself? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Focus on God.</b> Sounds simple, right? It
takes intentional effort and discipline but it’s so necessary for me. Especially
when I can sense that I'm over analyzing something I've done or said. The
fastest way to nip it is to start thinking about all that I know to be true </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">–</span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> God
and His word. That’s where I renew my mind and begin to find peace in who He
has made me to be. It’s like my mind is released from a prison where crazy fairies
torturously rule. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Focus on others. </b>Once
I’ve recalibrated my perspective from myself to God, I can see others with a
clear lens. In fact, the plaguing self-magnifying glass is removed and I am
freed to think of others. Thinking of others leads to praying for them which
also leads to looking for a way to meet their needs. And, that’s so much more
rewarding.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Focus on what matters. </b>Focusing
on God and others takes my eyes off the details that have no eternal bearing. I
am reminded that the true heart of life is love, joy and peace which supersede the
little details that can entangle my mind. Whew, what a relief! It’s a relief to
release myself from the dead-end thoughts and mental exhaustion of what DOESN’T
even matter. With that new-found energy and focus, I can contribute to what I know
matters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, I’ve come to the conclusion that getting over myself is more than worth it. </span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-58046504135126727602014-09-15T08:14:00.000-05:002014-09-16T17:10:11.085-05:00I used to be Michael Bublé's "Lost" girl<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirnqPotF2JmvsvqiSg-C6g8Sx_QUl4nYFmKB5-HehdP1fTFbCbqlxWim3A9MFNNKRIXDrrimK3mXahsYrHMyfvsVUr5bP-jh3__dsH7ZXhoE_cgOJC-8uonHgFZzS5oLct5MekJCctHULw/s1600/heart+lost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirnqPotF2JmvsvqiSg-C6g8Sx_QUl4nYFmKB5-HehdP1fTFbCbqlxWim3A9MFNNKRIXDrrimK3mXahsYrHMyfvsVUr5bP-jh3__dsH7ZXhoE_cgOJC-8uonHgFZzS5oLct5MekJCctHULw/s1600/heart+lost.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Last week I was listening to
Pandora when “Lost” by Michael </span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">Bublé</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> came on. I was reminded of the first time
I ever heard it and how I was so taken with the lyrics. At that time, I felt
like it was my life's story. I played it many times, seeing myself in the lines
yearning for a different season.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Summer turned to winter</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And the snow had turned to rain</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And the rain turned into tears
upon your face</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I hardly recognize the girl you
are today</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">My sunny days had disappeared
and all I could see was rain. I had been in a marriage that had scarred my
heart by continuous deception and betrayal. I was living a life I never
expected for myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The last verse of the song resonated in my heart: <i>Baby, you’re not
lost. </i>I really wanted that to be true, but it just wasn't. I was so
lost. Lost in my pain. Lost in my broken dreams. Lost in a hole that I wasn’t
sure I’d come out of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Over the next year, I felt
released to walk away from that marriage. God began a work of emotional healing
in me that only He could do. The deep parts of my heart were being restored and
I was becoming whole again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The process was difficult because it was a process not an event.</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> It
happened over time and the Lord used many people to encourage and help rebuild
the broken places in my life. God had graciously given me a wonderful support
group that walked with me as I started this new path alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">When I moved to Springfield, I
was still in that process of healing. A couple of months later I was in a service
when I felt God show me that my heart was whole again. It was a beautiful
moment of realization. I cried happy tears of complete wholeness for the first time in years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I used to be that “lost” girl,
but I'm not anymore. I thank God I'm not anymore. God redeems the lost –
people, hearts, dreams – all of it. God restores the broken and makes it whole
again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Today, I face a different
struggle but I face it with a whole heart and with my best friend. Dave loves
me in a way I’ve never known before and it gives me courage, strength and joy
for this unknown journey. That season of being lost was hard, but it makes where I am that much more incredible and I'm grateful for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-59496296838849783232014-08-12T12:36:00.000-05:002014-08-14T08:23:08.278-05:00What do you do when everyone's having babies around you?<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUhQa1VYjqVauNuezDvT2JMpqjckZGud6ZG_1XiT0_TBAPUy1WVN4mKp6YsV_xRTYMi2o2aTJN7Zdh5xvz0-BY2ErkDDxF8BtAcWlfUl9RDyzjIqbbmZPsXB1s06cP0M2mNLACzgCpDgGJ/s1600/open+hearted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUhQa1VYjqVauNuezDvT2JMpqjckZGud6ZG_1XiT0_TBAPUy1WVN4mKp6YsV_xRTYMi2o2aTJN7Zdh5xvz0-BY2ErkDDxF8BtAcWlfUl9RDyzjIqbbmZPsXB1s06cP0M2mNLACzgCpDgGJ/s1600/open+hearted.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Facebook is full of life
announcements. Whether it's what someone ate for lunch, who they ran into at
the mall or what color of toe nail polish they chose for the day – it’s all the
latest and greatest news. That's one thing I love about Facebook because I enjoy
feeling caught up with the everyday stuff of my FB friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Well, it seems most everyone is
about to give birth or getting pregnant. I'm happy for all of them but it
forces me to face my situation. It forces me to face my hurt and
disappointment. It also forces me to ask God what He has in store for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">When you've had a life-altering
surgery that has removed your womb, it can be difficult to see pregnancy and
birth announcements day after day. Not that I don’t feel sincere joy and
happiness for those people, it's just that I am still hurting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">So, what do you do when
everyone's having babies around you? I can only speak for myself but some days
I cry. Some days I call Dave and tell him how hard it is to know God didn't
allow me to conceive. Some days I tell God I still don’t understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">But, then some days I sit in
amazement of how blessed I am to be with my soul mate and that my life is
complete. Some days I thank God for healing me through surgery so I don't have
to live with the pain of Endometriosis. Some days I think about how BIG God is
and how much GREATER His plans are. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I need to have those days of
crying and questioning to truly process this grief. I need to ask God the tough
questions – even if I don't get the answers, my heart needs to rid itself of
them. I need to breathe those days in but also exhale them so they don't turn
into a toxic mindset.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I also need to have those days
when I see my many blessings and His hands at work in my life. I need to thank
Him for everything – I could be in such a different place had it not been for
His saving grace. I need to breathe those days in and exhale them to others
walking a similar path. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I believe we aren't meant to
get stuck in our pain, but I also believe we aren’t meant to hold our stories
with a vice grip so that no one else can share in the faithfulness of God. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">As an introvert, it can be hard for
me to share what God is doing in my heart but it’s so important to allow others
in so He can use my situation to encourage someone else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Writing is free therapy that
allows me to do both. It’s where I can find a home for my deepest thoughts and
emotions while using it as an outlet for expression. I cannot just write to
write – it has to be real and it has to mean something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Which brings me back to where I
am. I am living out this disappointment in front of the world (or so it seems).
It’s not something I can hide from. I am in a vulnerable place but a place maybe
someone else can relate to. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">So, I write and I share where I am. <b>Where I truly
am.</b> Because, if I don’t share where I truly am, I’ll never truly connect with
the soul of another. I'm not willing to risk that, not for a facade of perfection or a masked seclusion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-54817457519672808902014-07-24T10:16:00.000-05:002016-02-02T12:59:02.890-06:00When God's plan A is my plan B [or plan Never]<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEoOaVLZKXkdTmOXUYGjB6oOHGsh5FgkEf-5jEffi8N0k_aJRLL1QUKP30r67uAMSDEZArdjZrVFA_ZsmQimnnNpNzUzu2M0AwC2nS4-h7_1ImeoxDBFhT6loc-UP_oKsFIRnpXZX6lBUF/s1600/god's+plan+vs+my+plan.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEoOaVLZKXkdTmOXUYGjB6oOHGsh5FgkEf-5jEffi8N0k_aJRLL1QUKP30r67uAMSDEZArdjZrVFA_ZsmQimnnNpNzUzu2M0AwC2nS4-h7_1ImeoxDBFhT6loc-UP_oKsFIRnpXZX6lBUF/s1600/god's+plan+vs+my+plan.PNG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Dave and I have been talking
about where we are and how we envisioned life differently than what it actually
is. At times, it is overwhelming and discouraging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Please don't misunderstand me
– we have so much to be thankful for, but there's still a level of
disappointment to work through. It's in that disappointment that we have to
accept this different route. We have been rerouted and we don’t even know what
those directions look like nor the destination. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">This got me thinking about what my response is when God's plan A
is my plan B (or plan Never). <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I know many people in
situations they didn't plan for that have brought difficult challenges and heartache.
Dear friends that have lost babies. Family members with special needs children.
Loved ones with debilitating diseases. So much unplanned suffering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">As heavy as that weighs upon my
heart, I cannot negate the fact that along with those times of suffering, comes
a deeper experience of God’s love and a greater dependence on Him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">How else can I know the warmth of God’s comfort unless I feel
sorrow? How else can I know the power of God’s strength unless I am weak? How
else can I know the firmness of God’s foundation unless mine is shaken? <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">In my darkest of times, I have
found God to be closest to me. In my deepest despair, I have found God’s hand
holding me. God uses these times to draw me into Him where I find true rest and
peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">So, what is my response when God’s plan A is not mine? Here’s my
honest answer:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">1.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Say
it’s all going to work out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">2.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">When I
can’t see how it’s working out, have a pity party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">3.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Cry
some more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">4.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Feel
very lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">5.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Begin
to turn my heart and mind to God to gain His perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">6.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Feel
trust and faith build as I sense He’s in control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">7.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Rest in
knowing it’s already taken care of so I just keep walking where I can see He’s
leading me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">8.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Probably
repeat 1-7 a few times until it sinks DEEP into my core.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">9.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">When
I’ve come through the other side – celebrate and share my experience to help
someone else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I realize this process is
different for everyone, but I think the key is not getting stuck in the early
steps for too long. I keep moving towards God, even if that means I have to go
around the block a few extra times to get that He’s for me not against me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 107%;">Our plan A was to
have biological children. Our plan A was for me to not have a hysterectomy. Against our very will and prayers, that
has not happened. What does that mean? God has another, better<i> </i>plan A that will blow ours away and
fulfill God’s purpose. And, that’s what we want – completely – God’s plan and
purpose in EVERY area of our lives even if it hurts right now.</span>Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-62142212562403465922014-07-08T20:29:00.001-05:002014-07-08T20:29:34.523-05:00Sometimes God wants my canvas to be completely blank<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXEhwP98DHQIv4WGopC-sm3KN2vEKZntQahq1BB4_Q2AGn-o1-JGcKOsX11rzY9eZH_TFVz-T1u4ZvtBB8CvuUJuVMS-3I3kWXwnvp_byENKLpeR0mvkhxkY-lHiuhmo9JB17w0l2jEc4/s1600/Technology-is-a-canvas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXEhwP98DHQIv4WGopC-sm3KN2vEKZntQahq1BB4_Q2AGn-o1-JGcKOsX11rzY9eZH_TFVz-T1u4ZvtBB8CvuUJuVMS-3I3kWXwnvp_byENKLpeR0mvkhxkY-lHiuhmo9JB17w0l2jEc4/s1600/Technology-is-a-canvas.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ask me what I picture ahead in the future and I can’t give anything
definitive. I’ve always been able to picture something (school, work, kids) but
I can’t see anything right now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Does this mean that I’m lost? It might seem that way but I believe
sometimes God wants my canvas to be completely blank so He can paint the
picture for me. I believe this is one of those times I will look back and see
how much more beautiful this season of my life turns out simply because I let Him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's so tempting to just start doing something on that blank
canvas because I have a need to see progress. In fact, my natural tendency is
to plan out details of the future. My human mind likes to analyze and get it
all figured out. To be honest, many times I’ve found myself ahead of
God which ultimately wasted a lot of my mental and emotional energy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can only plan so far then I
have to step away and trust. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That’s not always easy for a natural born planner (me!). But, I know this is
a time God is asking me to take my hands off of the paintbrush and give it to Him. As hard as it is for my flesh,
I do it and I will likely have to keep doing it many more times. That’s another
natural tendency of mine – taking back something I’ve surrendered to God
because I see how I could make it work or control the situation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Again, it all comes back to a
transfer of trust</b>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s letting go of my need to know and taking hold of the hand of the
One who is truly in control and will lead me through the unknown future. There
isn’t a better place to be. There isn’t a better guide to have. There isn’t a
better artist to paint my blank canvas.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-36332895383188301382014-06-30T13:01:00.002-05:002014-06-30T13:12:28.652-05:00Of all the things I say yes to, this one matters the most<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRn1OJsow_7N9o3tt14lQPmINMydukKSKTK9LFCwOj6RlWFQrI41EAvlBh0fz34Y697TMIYarjz9pQ_BnpzZKyYTGgTI_2_of4tXSXVWzUDCsQzFO-KEhh6IE3e0P3KPXbfX1zFhXlFgPF/s1600/yes+and+no.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRn1OJsow_7N9o3tt14lQPmINMydukKSKTK9LFCwOj6RlWFQrI41EAvlBh0fz34Y697TMIYarjz9pQ_BnpzZKyYTGgTI_2_of4tXSXVWzUDCsQzFO-KEhh6IE3e0P3KPXbfX1zFhXlFgPF/s1600/yes+and+no.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Sitting in my office thinking about life
and all that has happened over the last few months, it's easy to get
discouraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's easy to let my
thoughts and emotions run wild. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">That's the most important time for me to
turn to God. To tune out those thoughts, I need God's truth to overcome them.
Focusing on Him and His presence quickly drowns out the cares of this world.
Not that they don't still exist, but the power of God's presence puts them in
their place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">My cares are at God's disposal and as His
daughter; I can rest in knowing He will always show up in my life. That doesn't
mean every situation will be turned around the way I want, but it does mean my
heart and mind can be turned around to see HIM as author and finisher of my
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">I can't find what I need in doing more for
God. I can't find what I need in making more plans for my life. I can't find
what I need in another person. I can't find what I need listening to nothing
but Christian music. I can't find what I need unless I spend time with the One
who is everything I need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">The power of God's presence is greater than
any earthly power I can conjure up. In His presence, I find wisdom, strength,
joy, peace, comfort, direction, provision – I find everything I can’t do for
myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">The only place to find true rest is in
God's presence. The only way to live in that rest is a continual, ongoing
relationship with God. When I feel Him calling me to sit with Him awhile, may
my answer be yes. Of all the things I say yes to, this one matters the most.</span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-61630431657966090092014-04-10T13:03:00.000-05:002014-04-14T13:27:39.705-05:00Finding ourselves in an unexpected place<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAOjNVbp5PRNLwz-1OC3YZ1G0Hv4IIDdH7Jrg_UsXJsBpLw1Xt1qYF7K1WOObTI_t-LcDgmOUWhzrIJgsyBp8EdEcodIYS5isC0l84KYRU-yT7vO0lX-yJFIvwj_YU1o_5dj4BasoSWgkp/s1600/unexpected+road.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAOjNVbp5PRNLwz-1OC3YZ1G0Hv4IIDdH7Jrg_UsXJsBpLw1Xt1qYF7K1WOObTI_t-LcDgmOUWhzrIJgsyBp8EdEcodIYS5isC0l84KYRU-yT7vO0lX-yJFIvwj_YU1o_5dj4BasoSWgkp/s1600/unexpected+road.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Neither of us expected to find ourselves
childless in our late 30s. Neither of us expected that I would endure several
surgeries and procedures only to have it all culminate with a hysterectomy. So
what do we do now that we are finding ourselves in an unexpected place?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">With this completely unpaved road in front
of us, it seems like we can and should do whatever we want! Maybe go on some
crazy awesome vacations. Maybe move to Costa Rica and learn Spanish. Maybe move
to Hawaii and surf the big waves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">All of that is exciting to think about and
we will do some fun things, but we are not in this unexpected place by accident.
If we truly believe God is sovereign, then we also believe He has plans for us
even if it’s not what we thought. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">We’ve been asking God what those plans are.
We don’t have any concrete answers but we want to stay yielded to God. It would
be easy to just do our own thing to satisfy our flesh but that’s such a
fleeting satisfaction. We know that lasting satisfaction is only found in being
a part of what’s eternal – God’s Kingdom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">So what do we think we know about our plans
for the future? We’re going to keep hanging out with each other and having fun
because we don’t want to miss out on now. Adoption is likely but we have no
definite plans. We do see giving more of ourselves and serving in ways we never
thought of before. Oh, yes, and some crazy awesome vacations. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 11pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">When I moved to Springfield, I had NO IDEA
what my future held and I was definitely in an unexpected place – divorced,
moving away from my family and friends, finishing my degree – starting a new
life at 30. The driving force that helped me take the leap was God’s peace and
direction. It was scary but exciting. It was painful to leave my family but I
had God’s assurance He was leading me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">I am reminded of how much God has done in my
life since that move. I met and married my best friend. Even when I met Dave at
church on that Sunday night, I didn’t know God had just introduced me to my
future husband. I could not have planned that or known the beautiful heart Dave
has. Through knowing Dave, I have been blessed with an amazing group of friends
that have loved me and accepted me from day one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Those were not coincidences; they were love
notes from my loving God. Just as God knew what was ahead of me then, He knows now.
I can hold on to that hope and trust Him. If I continue to stay yielded to Him
and His leading, I know I will look back on this time and see the miraculous.</span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-24558235750552197262014-04-06T18:48:00.000-05:002014-04-08T15:03:20.310-05:00I have nothing to prove to Jesus<div style="margin: 0in;">
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsUUEZ9FSt6JKZC8txuRyT26J6stWuj-OPMd7u2oyMJ5R6V6j2QQGtXcHnxBvyAlEQXLPSzzcxiTuc9jZEYrDTo7r_telHGD3KKgXHQWr7ARhtX-MMy44OZRylot4YaDFGJVYnDaHZeeND/s1600/jesus+blue.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsUUEZ9FSt6JKZC8txuRyT26J6stWuj-OPMd7u2oyMJ5R6V6j2QQGtXcHnxBvyAlEQXLPSzzcxiTuc9jZEYrDTo7r_telHGD3KKgXHQWr7ARhtX-MMy44OZRylot4YaDFGJVYnDaHZeeND/s1600/jesus+blue.JPG" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Feeling understood is really
important to me. When I don't feel understood, I try to think of ways to
make others truly understand. When that doesn't work, it's frustrating but
I just have to walk away knowing some things cannot be explained or understood.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">With all that has gone on with
my hysterectomy, there have been times I've felt misunderstood. There have been
times I've felt like I have to prove I'm okay but I'm in a process that just
takes time. Because of that, I've felt exhausted just thinking about
telling people how I’m doing.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Physically, I still have a
little swelling and tenderness. I get sore after sitting for too long because
some muscles have been on vacation. I’m still in the process of gaining my
energy back but I am feeling more like myself each week! It's wonderful to be
on this side of things yet I still don't have a date that I know I'll be fully
100%. Am I ready to run a 5k? No. It takes months to completely heal after this
surgery. I’m taking it easy and recovering the right way. On the outside, I
look fine but my body isn't there yet and that’s okay.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Emotionally, I'm doing
well. Specifically, I'd like to publicly answer the most asked
question, “Are you depressed?” No, thank the Lord! I've spent a lot of
time reflecting and praying and folks, I'm just plain old grieving. I’m still
hurting but it’s a natural part of the process.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Before and after surgery, we prayed that God would keep me from emotional crazytown and He has. I continue
to talk to God about how I'm feeling and ask Him to show me emotions I need to
deal with but to not let me get stuck in a hole. He's been faithful to answer
that prayer. I frequently talk to Dave and tell him how I'm feeling. We both
have our moments but we continue to move forward, allowing each other time and
grace to grieve.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The other day a good friend of
ours called Dave to tell him that he and his wife know my hysterectomy wasn't
an event that took care of everything and that it’s all over now. He made sure
we know that they realize it's something we're still dealing with and they are
still praying for us. My first thought was, “Thank you for getting it!!”</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Not everyone does get it and I
have to accept that. I have to accept it could be people I love dearly that
mean well but think it's all or nothing – that I'm either totally
fine or totally a wreck. One huge comfort is that Jesus always gets it. Always.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Through all of this, I am
reminded that I have nothing to prove to Jesus. He knows. He knows my thoughts,
my motives and my desires. He knows the depths of my heart. I don't have
to explain to make Him understand. There are times I cannot utter the words and
He's there to comfort me. There are times I tell Him "all about it"
and I’m thankful it doesn't have to be a long conversation that
leaves me feeling frustrated because I KNOW He understands. What other person
in my life can I say that about? As much as others may try, they are still
human. Jesus is the only one who can always understand me. And, that's why I
want to keep pouring my heart out Him – so the one who knows me best
can be at work in me.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">During my time in prayer this
week, I started with, "Lord, this hurts to know I'll never carry a
baby…" but after many tears and confessions of raw emotions, I felt His loving arms around
me and my prayer ended with, "Lord, I believe You will do something spectacular
through this and You will use Dave and I to bring You glory." My heart
swelled with faith and anticipation for what He is going to do.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"> </span></div>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><u2:p></u2:p><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Although
we're hurting, we're running to Jesus and we're seeing Him change our hearts
in ways that could never have happened before. Through our brokenness, He is
working in us. Yes, it's painful but it's beautiful and powerful because it's
HIM not US.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
</div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-85929741806278958162014-03-08T09:54:00.000-06:002014-03-11T10:27:51.691-05:00How to expect great things from God after bad things happen<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVv3kNn7J9BhAun3AYsdtKWy6BSmtOlUTzOAdpK0T8xLOIb4AFHqT5-egQOlQDWXxes8Uwh-fi1VhxmAKXqpCFFXceB9RIO2vQknpob1nwq5jN421-c36oJJhS5ImQD7BZXhMkW9786Q6U/s1600/looking-toward-the-future.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVv3kNn7J9BhAun3AYsdtKWy6BSmtOlUTzOAdpK0T8xLOIb4AFHqT5-egQOlQDWXxes8Uwh-fi1VhxmAKXqpCFFXceB9RIO2vQknpob1nwq5jN421-c36oJJhS5ImQD7BZXhMkW9786Q6U/s1600/looking-toward-the-future.png" height="269" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After experiencing loss or tragedy, it’s easy to lose sight of God’s
goodness and His plan. I’ve found that the junk of life can somber my spirit
and my expectancy for what God has for me. I’m very self-aware, almost too much
at times, so I have been evaluating my heart and I know I need God’s help to
refresh my hope for the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My infertility and hysterectomy aren’t the first times I’ve suffered
great heartache. Before God brought Dave into my life, I was in a ten year
marriage to a man I met in bible college. Within the first year of marriage, he
spiraled into a life of addiction. It took many years full of pain, heartbreak
and disappointment before I felt a release to walk away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I look back on those years and see how I clung to God and how He
faithfully covered me. Even when it felt like my life was so broken and I
didn’t understand what was going on, God saw ahead to where I am now. Of all that happened during that
time, my relationship with God ran deep, I knew He would bring me through it
all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since then, I’ve met and married my soul mate – a term I never fully
understood until Dave. My heart is whole and my life is so full. I cannot thank
God enough for where I am today and all He’s given me. Because of what I went
through before, these blessings remain fresh and that’s a tremendous gift. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In light of feeling so blessed, I have been fighting discouragement
about the future and wondering if my life will be filled with a series of bad
things. I know this is not a healthy or biblical mindset. Even if bad things were
destined to happen, God doesn’t want me to focus on these thoughts because they
conjure up fear, worry and doubt which not only contradict His word but
deteriorate peace, joy and hope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For me, the best way to dispel discouragement and lies is to rely on
God’s word. I don’t mean just read some verses and say a little prayer. I mean,
search out the verses that speak to me and meditate on them until
they sink deep into my heart and soul – until my mind is transformed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I’m retraining myself how to expect great things from God after bad
things happen and God’s word is removing the untruths that try to entangle my
heart and mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Remember who God is. </b>I’m
reading about how God loves and takes care of His children that serve Him. Here
are some verses that remind me who God is:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Bless
the <span class="sc">Lord</span>, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his
holy name! Bless the <span class="sc">Lord</span>, O my soul, and forget not all
his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who
redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's</i>.
Psalm 103:1-5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="text"><i>This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or
discouraged. For the </i></span><span class="small-caps"><i>Lord</i></span><span class="text"><i>
your God is with you wherever you go.</i></span> Joshua 1:9<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="text"><i>Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your
God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious
right hand.</i></span> Isaiah 41:10<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Remember
God’s plan. </b>I’m relying on
scriptures that reassure me that God works His plan regardless of the circumstance. Here are some key verses that I’m meditating on to keep my mind
in check about God’s plan for me:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="text"><i>You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought
me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. </i></span>Genesis
50:20 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="text"><i>For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the </i></span><span class="small-caps"><i>Lord</i></span><span class="text"><i>, thoughts of peace and not of
evil, to give you a future and a hope.</i> </span>Jeremiah 29:11<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>And
we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those
who are the called according to His purpose. </i>Romans
8:28<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Remember
what God’s already done. </b>I’m recounting times in my life that
God faithfully worked in and through a situation. As I do this, thankfulness overflows and
faith begins to rise. Here are some verses that remind me what God has already done
for me:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>The
<span class="small-caps">Lord</span> is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues
those whose spirits are crushed.
</i>Psalm 34:18<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="text"><i>Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on
the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and
barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are
empty, yet I will rejoice in the </i></span><span class="small-caps"><i>Lord</i></span><span class="text"><i>! I will be joyful in the God of my
salvation! The Sovereign </i></span><span class="small-caps"><i>Lord</i></span><span class="text"><i>
is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the
heights.</i> Habakkuk 3:17-19</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>For
God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whosoever believes in
Him should not perish but have everlasting life.</i> John 3:16<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes, bad things have happened and there
are days I find myself still grieving the loss of my womb, but I can also still
believe God for the best in my life. That doesn’t mean I blindly believe for
anything no matter what; it means I believe for the best and trust that God will
work out His plan in the best way possible no matter what. He’s my loving Father
and what loving father wouldn’t want the best for his child? </span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-56408436369373767692014-02-20T12:54:00.000-06:002014-02-20T13:23:09.000-06:00The Chronicles of HysterNarnia: The Surgery, the Recovery and the Future<div style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Surgery<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We arrived at the hospital @ 6:15am, checked in and I was able to change into my glamorous surgery wardrobe. If you’ve ever had surgery, you know how exciting it is to wear a backless gown with people coming in and out of the room. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> So, I just hung out in my breezy gown, no-slip socks and awesome blue “hat” while I was asked about twenty times if I knew my name and birthdate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our pastor came to see us about 7am and prayed with us. I am a very visual person so metaphors are powerful to me. When pastor prayed that angels would surround me with their wings and protect me, it was a beautiful moment picturing their wings and feeling God’s precious peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Soon after I was wheeled off to surgery waiting where I was given the good stuff and pretty much didn’t care about anything else. I had been looking forward to the good stuff all morning. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I remember saying goodbye to Dave and then the next thing I know I was waking up from surgery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Waking up is the first step in recovery but it’s an important one. Many people who have surgery fear there will be a complication with the anesthesia and will not wake up. God faithfully watched over me and I made it through.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Upon waking up, I was really nauseous which tends to happen to me after anesthesia. They gave me everything they could but I still had severe nausea. On top of that, I was having quite a bit of pain and pressure where I had internal stitches. I started to get concerned that this surgery would be harder than my other ones. About thirty minutes later the nurses took out some packing and that was a TRIP. It was the packing/gauze that never ended….like a clown trick she kept pulling and it kept coming. But, once they pulled that out, the severe pain and pressure went away along with the nausea. The pain level was more like what I was used to and that was a relief to know I could handle it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t tell you how comforting it was to have our friend (who works at the hospital) there the next time I woke up in my room. He just held my hand and I felt so blessed to have such a great friend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next was Dave. Seeing him was the ultimate comfort. He came to my side and reassured me. He told me surgery had lasted four hours because the Endometriosis was so bad again – it had grown all over my colon. He told me my doctor had called in other surgeons to help her with the colon and then she finished the hysterectomy. I was surprised but not surprised. I had been in a lot of pain but didn’t really know it would be that bad so soon. It was yet again another confirmation of the Lord’s leading and our decision to have the surgery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dave traded with my mom so she could come and see me. I know it was hard on her to see me like that but having her with me made all the difference. Before surgery we sat on my couch and I cried on her shoulder. After surgery she was there to give me drinks and feed me crackers. She has a way of helping that never makes me feel like a burden. She’s one of the best earthly examples of God’s love. Not to mention the fact that she stayed with me in the hospital that night – she had to sleep on a cot in the middle of the room with another patient just a few feet away and nurses running around all night. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I guess any mom might do that but I still believe my mom is exceptional.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Recovery<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After proving I was a good patient (being able to empty my bladder and pass *ahem* wind), I was released from the hospital. I was really glad to be going home but the ride home was uncomfortable. I had a pillow clenched to my stomach the entire time because every little bump in the road is felt when you’re sore and swollen. Over the years, Dave has learned to become an expert bump averter when driving me after surgery.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I went straight from the car to the couch where we had prepared a lovely spot to park myself several hours during the day. Let’s just say there’s a permanent indention there as I type. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> The one good thing about having several other surgeries is that we have become somewhat pros at preparing and preventing when it comes to postop problems or issues.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Between Dave and my mom, they made every meal, helped me up and down, helped me get dressed/undressed and did all of the housework. My mom even went the extra mile and helped me with some “stuff” in the bathroom. Yeah, she might actually be an angelic being.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first two weeks were a challenge but what amazing friends and family we have! We received flowers from our church, Dave’s co-workers and my dad & stepmom. This is the first time to receive flowers after a surgery and I really didn’t think it would be a big deal but they were so uplifting to our spirits. To add to the beauty, my mom gave me bright and cheery balloons but they have since retired so I wasn't able to get a good photo of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My co-workers gave us a sweet card containing gift cards to our favorite restaurants. This was no small thing and it truly touched our hearts. The notes in my card made me smile, brought me to tears and simply made my day. Dave and I just sat there overwhelmed with their love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of our dear friends set up a Meal Train and we have meals covered until February 25 which is a HUGE blessing since Dave is taking care of everything and back to work now. The same friend and her husband came over with their cutie pie kids to bring us a meal and they also gave us two amazing care baskets full of our favorite treats, soda and coffee. It was so incredibly thoughtful of them and humbling for us to be loved in such a lavish manner.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">To sum it all up, we have been absolutely blown away by the love and generosity of our community around us. The support we have felt has been healing balm to our hearts and we are so grateful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Future<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the words of the wise (Arnold Schwarzenegger accent), “Da futcha is now!” LOL. Sorry, that’s really the first thing I think of when I hear or say the word future. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had my 2 week checkup last week and it was very positive. I’m healing well and on my way to full recovery. The best news of all is that my doctor said I would have had menopause symptoms by now if I was going to. Other than feeling a little warm at night, which I attribute to my three layers of clothing, I haven’t had one single negative symptom. I feel great and that means no hormone replacement therapy! Praise the Lord!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have 3 weeks left of recovery and am still very limited on what I can do. I forgot how lame daytime TV is – who really watches all of the court shows?? We don’t have cable so now that I’m able to maneuver the laptop, I’ll be writing and scouring the web for movies and documentaries that Dave would never want to watch. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe next week I’ll try to drive. My doctor said that I should wait until I know I can stomp on the brake and not be in pain…yeah, next week I<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> might</i> try that. I still can’t lift or carry anything over 5-10 lbs so there goes hoisting Dave on my shoulders while shouting “He’s #1!” I can fold laundry so I see a lot of that in my days ahead. I’m trying to focus on what I can do AND reminding myself this is a short season overall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As for what our plans are for children. Honestly, we are not sure what the next step will be. I do ask you would be praying for us in this area. We are looking to the Lord and relying on Him to direct our steps. Our desire is for the Lord to use us and to bring purpose from our pain. He is the best Redeemer.</span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-7827265602686726492014-01-22T18:43:00.000-06:002014-01-22T18:43:29.253-06:00Keeping my conversations with God open<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">The other day I was talking with my mom
about surgery. She was telling me that she's looking forward to the relief I'll
have being pain-free. She was being as positive as she could.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">When I got off the phone I had a sense that
she was still processing a lot of sadness but maybe felt she had to be “pumped
up” for me. I knew I needed to call her back and tell her it's okay to be sad
and that she can talk about it with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">I called her a couple of nights later. I
told her exactly what I felt I should and she began to cry. She said she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was </i>sad. She said she didn’t want her
baby girl to have to go through this. She said she couldn't believe the Endo
had already grown back and that she truly believed I would be pregnant by now.
She said she's still praying for God to heal me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">I could relate to 100% of what she said
because I am still mourning and processing myself. I let her know that I've
been keeping my conversations with God open because I don't want to get stuck.
He can handle my questions, He can handle my emotions, He can handle me not
understanding – He can handle it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">So many times we go through dark times
thinking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just have faith</i>. While that
is true, there also has to be a deeper level of communion with God. If I don’t
keep my conversations with God real, I could end up in a permanent state of disillusionment.
I don’t want that for myself and I don’t want that for my mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">For me, keeping it real means
inviting God into every part of my life and acknowledging His sovereignty in the
tough places. It’s about giving Him my best and my worst days, letting Him shape
my perspective, trusting Him when I can’t see, and talking to Him about what’s
going on in my heart. </span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-65716980648806312322014-01-22T10:19:00.000-06:002014-01-22T12:49:15.238-06:00Two Stones Dance Upon the Water<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A poem I wrote for Dave in honor of our 4<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup>
wedding anniversary.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCX5fwQBmPalYGO-l4zYWWZjPkZEqoX7ISaPz04U1sRpOWIE4-UL8lwTg_j3BPwYILyv_iBlnpTYa8FHu3t9qpTvq8f7lnDVZqF7LKAm-_AVroGnD5UJSmPHir4BsmCzlVTwraNzeL7YNc/s1600/Two+Stones.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCX5fwQBmPalYGO-l4zYWWZjPkZEqoX7ISaPz04U1sRpOWIE4-UL8lwTg_j3BPwYILyv_iBlnpTYa8FHu3t9qpTvq8f7lnDVZqF7LKAm-_AVroGnD5UJSmPHir4BsmCzlVTwraNzeL7YNc/s1600/Two+Stones.png" height="365" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"></span> </div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4739953071633497903.post-39021486022428846982013-12-31T14:06:00.002-06:002013-12-31T14:07:29.176-06:00He will bring beauty from my brokenness<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">The date has been set; I will
have my reproductive organs removed on January 30.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">There is a sadness in saying goodbye to the
possibility of biological children. There is a relief in closing this chapter.
There is a peace in knowing God is in control of what I cannot fix. There is a confidence
that He will be with me. There is an excitement for what He will accomplish in
our lives through this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbyn832WhJ-V0ng5DldX18hIcI-VkcWpiFpLCKQkivJii_1U0niD6sB2lE627cE88k__9R9Sw0zjr1HvkOCC2UFiap1XMc1X982fXi0VsdGi342JeIlioWrA6OIZKC80wAOZMnk3zqr4LQ/s1600/Mosaic2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbyn832WhJ-V0ng5DldX18hIcI-VkcWpiFpLCKQkivJii_1U0niD6sB2lE627cE88k__9R9Sw0zjr1HvkOCC2UFiap1XMc1X982fXi0VsdGi342JeIlioWrA6OIZKC80wAOZMnk3zqr4LQ/s320/Mosaic2.jpg" width="316" /></a><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">I know this sadness will ebb and flow as I
process loss over this next month and again after surgery. Even though we feel
as though we have been grieving, there will be a different level after the
finality of it all. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I ask for your prayers
as we journey down this road of unknown emotions.<o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">The relief is a huge comfort in closing
this chapter of my life. It has been a physically painful and emotionally
exhausting road for so many years. It helps to think of a life without that pain and a new kind of hope for the future. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I ask that
you pray specifically for a smooth surgery with no complications, that my
doctor will find and remove every bit of Endometriosis, a quick and easy recovery,
that my body would respond well to the surgical menopause that will begin after
surgery, that my body will balance out with no other treatment needed, and that
no Endometriosis would grow back. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">The peace I feel is from God because there’s
no explaining how I can have it going into this. I can feel Him cradling my
heart reassuring me that He has this in His capable hands. I still don’t have “answers”
but I do have Him and that’s all I need. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I
ask that you pray His peace would continue to sustain our hearts and minds.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">My confidence is in Him, and I know He will
go before me, stand with me, watch over me, BE with me, walk with me, and carry
me through this whole thing. It’s strange to say, but I’ve never felt closer to
Jesus than I do right now. It’s precious – His presence and His understanding of
what it’s like to go through the undesirable. He knows. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I ask that you pray we would find our security and strength in Him
as we look to Him for what we need.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">The excitement I feel is knowing, without a
doubt, He has a plan in all of this and will use it for HIS glory and HIS
purpose. How else could I be excited at this time? If He is in control
and I have His peace, I can hold on to
Him knowing He will bring beauty from my brokenness. Maybe I can’t see the entire work,
but I can trust it’s going to be better than my mind can conceive. <em>I ask that you pray we would keep our eyes on Him and our hearts surrendered to Him.</em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the meantime, we’ll still pray for a miracle and rest in knowing HE
HAS THIS – whether my healing miraculously comes tomorrow, comes through surgery,
or awaits me in Heaven, I will trust Him regardless.</span></div>
Ds Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17321769466603672061noreply@blogger.com0