I have been fighting Stage 4 Endometriosis
(Endo) for several years. It is a nasty disease that can warp the reproductive
system, render a woman immobile due to the pain and even lead to infertility.
Between my diagnosis in 2009 and today, I have had three surgeries to
"clean me up." In that time, I have also been trying to fight this
disease with every piece of knowledge I could find. I have spent hours
researching and reading about Endo and any possible way to control it or,
better yet, cure it.
The main theme I found was a very
restricted diet: no caffeine, red meat, sugar, eggs, dairy or wheat. I had
already eliminated dairy as I am lactose intolerant so I cut out caffeine.
Sadly, I ended up having surgery within a year and a half. Next, I greatly
reduced red meat, eggs and sugar but had another surgery just a year and two
months later. Since then, I've tried to cut out wheat but here I sit having
that familiar pain and discomfort.
Am I disappointed? Yes. Am I doing
everything that I learned to do? Mostly. Have I made mistakes in my restricted
diet? Some. Is it really in my control to change the rate at which it grows
back? No.
I had just recently been thinking about my diet pre-diagnosis. I had little dairy and just simply listened to my body. I didn't have all of these insane restrictions and I also wasn't feeling worse or better than I do today. I have been asking God to help me not to overthink this matter but I hadn't been successful because I felt like I needed a solid answer.
Enters Dianne, my wonderful mother-in-law.
As the last few minutes of the game played out, we sat in our comfy oversized chair and right away our conversation somehow
(God-directed) quickly turned to my mental struggle. Every word that came out
of her mouth was an answer to prayer. It was exactly what I was questioning.
As we sat there talking, I could feel the
weight lifting off of my shoulders. Simple truth was breaking through all the
confusion that had been filling up my mind. It all clicked: This was not in
my power to control and God wants me to let Him take care of it.
As soon as everyone left, I took out my
journal and wrote everything down. It's key for me to do this so I can go back
to it and remind myself that God brought me peace through these answers. While
I cannot share everything we talked about because some is very personal, I can
share a few things:
*Just be me – pre-diagnosis Christy.
*Renew my mind with life-giving scriptures
like 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of
power, love and a sound mind."*Allow God to handle this and ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom.
I've applied these simple truths to other
areas in my life yet my hyper sense of responsibility led me to think I should
do/try all I can in this one area, but that's just not true. This is not my
responsibility – it is God’s. All I can do is consistently take care of myself
and trust God. That’s it.
I’ll never forget Super Bowl 2013 – God cares
so much about me that He spoke to me during the final minutes of the biggest football
game of the year. He’s a pretty amazing Father to do that.
