God told me to get over myself

Standing in the worship service, I was struggling to keep my thoughts at rest – thinking of how I felt frumpy in my outfit, my hair looking all crazy and…the list goes on. My mind was not focused on God because I was consumed with what I thought of myself and what others might be thinking of me.

In that moment, I felt God say, "Get over yourself. There is so much more going on if you would take your focus off yourself and place it on Me."

I was convicted. I asked God to forgive me. My mind became clear and my heart began to soar. Conviction led to repentance which led to such a freedom.

Not thinking about myself frees me to be who God has created me to be. The real me that isn’t concerned with what anyone else might think. The real me that is confident in my uniqueness. The real me that is free to be me.

Since I'm an introvert, I'm naturally extra self-aware. So, what do I do when I realize I need to get over myself?

Focus on God. Sounds simple, right? It takes intentional effort and discipline but it’s so necessary for me. Especially when I can sense that I'm over analyzing something I've done or said. The fastest way to nip it is to start thinking about all that I know to be true – God and His word. That’s where I renew my mind and begin to find peace in who He has made me to be. It’s like my mind is released from a prison where crazy fairies torturously rule. 

Focus on others. Once I’ve recalibrated my perspective from myself to God, I can see others with a clear lens. In fact, the plaguing self-magnifying glass is removed and I am freed to think of others. Thinking of others leads to praying for them which also leads to looking for a way to meet their needs. And, that’s so much more rewarding.

Focus on what matters. Focusing on God and others takes my eyes off the details that have no eternal bearing. I am reminded that the true heart of life is love, joy and peace which supersede the little details that can entangle my mind. Whew, what a relief! It’s a relief to release myself from the dead-end thoughts and mental exhaustion of what DOESN’T even matter. With that new-found energy and focus, I can contribute to what I know matters.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that getting over myself is more than worth it. 

I used to be Michael Bublé's "Lost" girl

Last week I was listening to Pandora when “Lost” by Michael Bublé came on. I was reminded of the first time I ever heard it and how I was so taken with the lyrics. At that time, I felt like it was my life's story. I played it many times, seeing myself in the lines yearning for a different season.

Summer turned to winter

And the snow had turned to rain

And the rain turned into tears upon your face

I hardly recognize the girl you are today

My sunny days had disappeared and all I could see was rain. I had been in a marriage that had scarred my heart by continuous deception and betrayal. I was living a life I never expected for myself.

The last verse of the song resonated in my heart: Baby, you’re not lost. I really wanted that to be true, but it just wasn't. I was so lost. Lost in my pain. Lost in my broken dreams. Lost in a hole that I wasn’t sure I’d come out of.

Over the next year, I felt released to walk away from that marriage. God began a work of emotional healing in me that only He could do. The deep parts of my heart were being restored and I was becoming whole again.

The process was difficult because it was a process not an event. It happened over time and the Lord used many people to encourage and help rebuild the broken places in my life. God had graciously given me a wonderful support group that walked with me as I started this new path alone.

When I moved to Springfield, I was still in that process of healing. A couple of months later I was in a service when I felt God show me that my heart was whole again. It was a beautiful moment of realization. I cried happy tears of complete wholeness for the first time in years.

I used to be that “lost” girl, but I'm not anymore. I thank God I'm not anymore. God redeems the lost – people, hearts, dreams – all of it. God restores the broken and makes it whole again.

Today, I face a different struggle but I face it with a whole heart and with my best friend. Dave loves me in a way I’ve never known before and it gives me courage, strength and joy for this unknown journey. That season of being lost was hard, but it makes where I am that much more incredible and I'm grateful for that.