The lie that I can handle it [alone]

A couple of weeks ago I decided I would buy some peanut butter. I hadn't bought any in about a year because I found out I have a slight allergy to peanuts (all legumes). It makes my tongue itchy, tingly and gives me sores almost instantly.

Well, I decided I was doing so well that I could handle it. So, I bought a big jar for $4 compared to the little jar of almond butter for $7. I told myself that I was saving money and it was going to be fine. It wasn't. I made a huge peanut butter sandwich with banana slices. I thoroughly enjoyed it…for about two minutes. Then came the itchy tongue. Then the tingly tongue. Then the sore on the tip of my tongue.

I was frustrated that I couldn't just eat something I have eaten my whole life but I was more frustrated with myself. My track record told me what would happen but since I hadn’t had any issues, I just thought I could start eating peanut butter again. Wrong. I wasn’t having issues because I wasn't eating peanut butter – DUH! :-)

I started to think about how often I subconsciously believe the lie that I can handle it [alone]. It = any part of my life that I try to do in my own strength. I do well and my reliance on God starts dropping off. I don't notice right away but then there's a moment when I realize how very, very tired I am – just flat out weary from running on my human, exhaustible strength.

The truth is I can't handle life alone and I'm not made to handle it alone. Whether it’s thoughts, planning the future, showing love to others, eating healthy, exercising, working – WHATEVER "it" may be – I'm not built to do life without Christ's strength. Why? Because I am weak. And, in my surrendered weakness, His strength is perfect.

If I’m not relying on the Lord, I'm not making room for Him to work in my life.

If I’m not making room for Him to work in my life, I’m doing life alone.

If I’m doing life alone, I'm not fully surrendered to Christ.

It seems harsh, but it's true. At the heart of my relationship with Jesus, is giving Him my weak moments, my strong moments and everything in between. It must be continuous dependence on Him or else I'll lose myself in myself. I don't want that. Besides, there's so much more peace, rest and joy when I rely on Him and not myself.

Here are a few verses that remind me where to find my strength and how God honors a dependence on Him:

Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always. 1 Chronicles 16:11

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9