Perfect vessels in glass cases

While praying for a friend going through a rough season, God showed me a powerful illustration.

I saw a clear, glass case with a pristine ship inside of it. I then saw hands take it out and put it in stormy waters. I watched the ship as the waves beat upon it. Although it was being whipped by the wind and waves, it never capsized or fell apart.

I felt God say, "I've taken this perfect vessel out of its glass case so I can show the world My master craftsmanship. It is of no use to Me unless I take it out and show what it’s made of.”

Like my friend, many faithful followers of Christ go through unexpected storms in life. I don’t have the answers for this suffering, but I can say a few things that I know for sure:

A life surrendered to God is used to speak to others in their own storm. Living in a place of surrender brings about a true reliance on God and it’s that dependence on Him that carries us through the rough waters. Watching others faithfully walk through their storms encourages me to keep walking and challenges me to keep my heart in a place of surrender.

Serving God through the storm brings Him glory. By staying on the ship during the storm, we point to God as the ultimate shipbuilder. Even as the ship is being tossed around, God’s favor and protection surrounds us. God built the ship to withstand the storm so, if I can just stand firm, He’ll bring me through and it will glorify His name.

Faith is strengthened in preparation for the future. As God upholds the vessel, a deep trust is formed – a trust that no force on earth can shatter. This is the kind of heart posture God looks for in His servants and it is what will take us to the places and hearts He has prepared for us. Learning to live in that deep trust will always strengthen my faith and lead me to the next steps God has for me.

Perfect vessels in glass cases are pretty to look at, but they haven’t truly been used by the One who made them. They haven’t really seen or tasted life. They serve only to be admired for their appearance not their strength and endurance. 

It’s the scraped and scarred vessels who have faced the raging storms and survived that are the most beautiful. In their darkest hour, they courageously find strength and peace in the palm of their Master’s hand. That’s the kind of vessel I want to be. At the risk of never seeing the glass case until Heaven, I pray God continues to place me where He can use me…even if that be a stormy sea.

Donuts and cappuccinos

I've asked God to help me start processing the possibility of having a full hysterectomy because I tend to power through my storms and then I deal with an aftermath of emotion once it's all over. Powering through is good for getting life done but it's not good for living life now. It's also not a healthy way to cope. 

Recently I noticed that I allow myself to eat donuts and drink cappuccinos a lot more than I used to. My normal self would say that's not very disciplined and I haven't worked out enough to indulge. However, my learning to cope self has decided it's okay.

Now, eating donuts and drinking cappuccinos without regard is only good for a season so I couldn't do this the rest of my life. But, during this particular season, my heart is telling me to cut myself some slack and I'm listening to my heart a little more than my mind which is a huge change for me.

Another change for me is knowing and respecting my limitations. There are times that I leave a baby shower a little early. There are times that I strategically exit conversations about birthing stories. There are times that I get overwhelmed with emotion and go to the bathroom to cry. These are absolutely necessary for me to cope with where I am.

Along with those times that I have to guard against "baby void overload," there are also beautiful love notes from God that help soothe my aching heart. There are times I get letters and drawings from my nephews and it brings me to happy, satisfying tears. There are times my friends let me pick up their children from the nursery after church and their sweet little smiles bring me so much joy. There are times a little one picks me out of group to love on and I feel so special.

I’ve become more aware of how I’m feeling when I’m in a situation and, for the most part, I allow myself to fully feel it. This doesn’t give me a pass to be an emotional basket case or require others to tiptoe around me. I want my friends and family to be themselves. I want them tell me cute stories about their kids. I want to be invited to birthday parties and baby showers. I want to live life as it is but not stuff everything that I’m really going through on the inside.

So, I’m just living life and that might look like a lot of different things at different times but that is what tells me I’ve grown in the coping department. My former coping scenario looked a lot like this – Smile, keep moving and you’ll get through this. Now it’s more like – Smile if you can but cry if you need to, keep moving if you can but stop to regroup if you need to and you’ll get through this but enjoy life as it is now.

This change in my thinking hasn’t come simply through my own doing; God is teaching me. I'm trying to lean on Him for wisdom and let His grace carry me through this season. He lovingly sends me reminder after reminder that I’m not alone. Without Him, there would be no coping because there would be no hope.

Friendships

They come in different sizes: small, medium, large...you get the point. I've found there is a purpose for each one in my life and the lives of others. Sometimes you choose them while other times they choose you. This makes for an interesting fitting. :-)

Small tends to be the ones you make somewhat insightful conversation with. These are the friends you are delighted to see, share a little of what's going on in your life. Usually there is an area of commonality or interest that you both can relate to. Fortunately, these friends do not demand too much emotional energy so you happily welcome them and easily say goodbye to them.

Medium is where the emotional energy begins to come into play. These require a little more depth in conversation which is normally encouraging. You talk about several levels of life and you can end up laughing or crying about the experiences that are so similar. Unlike the size small, these friends aren't quite as easy to say goodbye to so your time together can become lengthy by choice. However, you can go a few weeks at a time without meeting up while you still feel a certain closeness.

Large is when we start getting into the laughing until you cry, crying until you're snotting and a level of transparency that alleviates the fear of vulnerability we all feel. These are the friends you call when something great happens, something horrible happens or you just need to talk. These are the friends that understand when you can't always be there but also hold you accountable when you truly need to be there. These are your lifelong friends that you can count on all along as life happens. They challenge you, they encourage you, they help you see the good in yourself while highlighting where you can be better. You may only have a handful of these friends but their worth is priceless. You never have to say goodbye to these friends and it's a good feeling to know they'll be with you in life's journey.

There are also those who don't truly have a size because they're seasonal friends. These friendships can bring great joy but also great pain when the season comes to an end. Learn from these friendships, remember what these friendships produced in your life but do let go of of these friendships when it's time.

Final thoughts: Cherish your friends, don't cling to them. Love your friends, don't judge them. Have faith in your friends, don't limit them. Hope with your friends, don't doubt for them. Just be the size you're supposed to be, see how each friendship fits and enjoy it!