No relationship can take the place of Jesus

Lately, I've been searching for deeper friendships.

I started a women's small group. It has been fun and I've gotten closer to some women, but the void in my heart is still there.

I have tried to get to know a few friends better. It has been successful on some fronts but the void in my heart is still there.

In my attempts to foster deeper friendships, I realized I was trying to fill a void that only Jesus can. His friendship is the only one that will truly satisfy my soul. Cultivating deeper relationships is a good thing, but no relationship can take the place of Jesus. Why is that?

No one can love like Jesus. His love is unconditional. I am already funny enough, smart enough and pretty enough for Jesus. Just as I am, He loves me like crazy. Through that unconditional love, He gave His life for me with no guarantee I would return His love. That's a love I really can't comprehend but I receive it because I need that kind of love.

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

No one can understand like Jesus. He gets me – every part of me. You see, I'm still hurting. I'm still grieving the loss of my womb. No person can truly understand what’s going on in my heart. As much as I try to explain or connect, no person can fill that place and heal me – only Jesus can.

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:15-16

No one can be there all time like Jesus. I cannot wear Jesus out. He is always ready and willing to spend time with me - anytime, anywhere. What a huge comfort to know I can call out to Him and He's never too tired to listen to me...He's never too busy to stop and sit with me. It blows my mind because I'm human with human capabilities. 

And be sure of this: I am will you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20

While my friendships play an important role in my life, they are not designed to take the place of Jesus. So, I breathe a sigh of relief and keep taking my heart to Jesus.

A bike, roses & new tennis shoes

What do they have in common? They are the real life places where love, romance and friendship flourish.

A bike. I've wanted a cruiser bike for a couple of years now and I finally got one last week for my birthday. Dave has been looking on Craigslist for the perfect one. He knew I wanted one with a retro look and a wide, comfy seat.

I’ve never met a man who listens the way he does. He picks up on the things that are important to me and makes them his priority. His love for me shines through and captures my heart again and again. Not that it’s not his for the taking, but he seldom allows it a chance to be anywhere else.

Roses. October 31 – some know it as Halloween. Some know it as a stressful day to get the kids all decked out in costumes. Some know it as just another day. I will forever know it as the anniversary of our first date. I don't expect Dave to remember, but he does. I definitely don't expect any romantic gestures because he is romantic all year long.

This year, however, he enamored me with a dozen roses and beautiful words. The roses were stunning and they made me feel really special, but it was his words that brought thankful tears to my eyes. He tells me God helps him to write the right stuff…and I believe that, but I also believe it’s in his desire to romance me that these ideas unfold.

The greatest part about those words is that I don’t need them to believe them. He already makes me feel that way and when I read the words, it’s like my heart says, “he lives this out each day.” So, while I soak up the flowers and words, it’s the daily actions that surround them to give them so much meaning.

New tennis shoes. I'm getting into my running groove again and I needed a new pair of tennis shoes. Dave spent Saturday morning helping me try on shoes and pick the perfect balance of cute and cushy. This meant multiple pairs of shoes and multiple stores. And, a little Chick-fil-A break in between. 

Shopping is not for the faint of heart and most guys, including Dave, don’t have a huge tolerance for it. But, our friendship is deep and it's out of that firm foundation we built years ago that he honors me by going with me, bringing me shoes and being a part of the process. Now, he certainly doesn’t go on every shopping excursion, but he knew I needed/wanted his input and that's when it really counts.

I love the quote, “love is friendship set on fire.” If I could add one little thing to that it would be, “love is friendship set on fire, fueled by romance.” I know it takes a lot more than those three things to make marriage work, but they sure make it fun. 

Perfect vessels in glass cases

While praying for a friend going through a rough season, God showed me a powerful illustration.

I saw a clear, glass case with a pristine ship inside of it. I then saw hands take it out and put it in stormy waters. I watched the ship as the waves beat upon it. Although it was being whipped by the wind and waves, it never capsized or fell apart.

I felt God say, "I've taken this perfect vessel out of its glass case so I can show the world My master craftsmanship. It is of no use to Me unless I take it out and show what it’s made of.”

Like my friend, many faithful followers of Christ go through unexpected storms in life. I don’t have the answers for this suffering, but I can say a few things that I know for sure:

A life surrendered to God is used to speak to others in their own storm. Living in a place of surrender brings about a true reliance on God and it’s that dependence on Him that carries us through the rough waters. Watching others faithfully walk through their storms encourages me to keep walking and challenges me to keep my heart in a place of surrender.

Serving God through the storm brings Him glory. By staying on the ship during the storm, we point to God as the ultimate shipbuilder. Even as the ship is being tossed around, God’s favor and protection surrounds us. God built the ship to withstand the storm so, if I can just stand firm, He’ll bring me through and it will glorify His name.

Faith is strengthened in preparation for the future. As God upholds the vessel, a deep trust is formed – a trust that no force on earth can shatter. This is the kind of heart posture God looks for in His servants and it is what will take us to the places and hearts He has prepared for us. Learning to live in that deep trust will always strengthen my faith and lead me to the next steps God has for me.

Perfect vessels in glass cases are pretty to look at, but they haven’t truly been used by the One who made them. They haven’t really seen or tasted life. They serve only to be admired for their appearance not their strength and endurance. 

It’s the scraped and scarred vessels who have faced the raging storms and survived that are the most beautiful. In their darkest hour, they courageously find strength and peace in the palm of their Master’s hand. That’s the kind of vessel I want to be. At the risk of never seeing the glass case until Heaven, I pray God continues to place me where He can use me…even if that be a stormy sea.