I saw my husband before I knew he existed

A few months ago, our small group talked about how God speaks to us through visions and dreams. I was reminded of my most memorable vision.

It was the summer before I moved to Springfield. I was in a worship service with my eyes closed when I saw a dim glimpse of a man. I only saw features - blue eyes, blonde hair with a little curl to it and a big smile.

I felt God speak to me, "This is the man I have for you. He will love and appreciate the things that I have placed inside you, not just your outward beauty. He is smiling because he is happy but also because He loves Me."

I knew it was a vision from God. I knew it was a piece of hope to my heart. I knew it was direction for the future.

I moved to Springfield a few weeks later. I met Dave on a Sunday night at Central Assembly of God. However, I didn't connect the vision to him. I truly believe God blocked it from my memory so I would not overthink building a foundational friendship with Dave.

A couple of months later, I was standing in my bedroom and the vision came back to me. I looked up at God and said, "Is this him? Really? This soon?"

I called my mom and my brother asking them what I asked God. They both said the exact same thing, "Why not? You've been faithful to God."

God speaks to us every single day in so many different ways. Be listening. Be watching. Be expecting

Sharing my story

I was honored to share my story at Hysterectomy.org for Hysterectomy Awareness Month. When pain finds purpose, there’s a level of comfort and assurance that also brings healing and hope. To read my story, visit the link below http://www.hysterectomy.org/christys-hysterectomy-story/ 

Finding ourselves in an unexpected place

Neither of us expected to find ourselves childless in our late 30s. Neither of us expected that I would endure several surgeries and procedures only to have it all culminate with a hysterectomy. So what do we do now that we are finding ourselves in an unexpected place?

With this completely unpaved road in front of us, it seems like we can and should do whatever we want! Maybe go on some crazy awesome vacations. Maybe move to Costa Rica and learn Spanish. Maybe move to Hawaii and surf the big waves.

All of that is exciting to think about and we will do some fun things, but we are not in this unexpected place by accident. If we truly believe God is sovereign, then we also believe He has plans for us even if it’s not what we thought.

We’ve been asking God what those plans are. We don’t have any concrete answers but we want to stay yielded to God. It would be easy to just do our own thing to satisfy our flesh but that’s such a fleeting satisfaction. We know that lasting satisfaction is only found in being a part of what’s eternal – God’s Kingdom.

So what do we think we know about our plans for the future? We’re going to keep hanging out with each other and having fun because we don’t want to miss out on now. Adoption is likely but we have no definite plans. We do see giving more of ourselves and serving in ways we never thought of before. Oh, yes, and some crazy awesome vacations. J

When I moved to Springfield, I had NO IDEA what my future held and I was definitely in an unexpected place – divorced, moving away from my family and friends, finishing my degree – starting a new life at 30. The driving force that helped me take the leap was God’s peace and direction. It was scary but exciting. It was painful to leave my family but I had God’s assurance He was leading me.

I am reminded of how much God has done in my life since that move. I met and married my best friend. Even when I met Dave at church on that Sunday night, I didn’t know God had just introduced me to my future husband. I could not have planned that or known the beautiful heart Dave has. Through knowing Dave, I have been blessed with an amazing group of friends that have loved me and accepted me from day one.

Those were not coincidences; they were love notes from my loving God. Just as God knew what was ahead of me then, He knows now. I can hold on to that hope and trust Him. If I continue to stay yielded to Him and His leading, I know I will look back on this time and see the miraculous.

.../\.../\.../\...Emotions.../\.../\.../\...

I've heard some women say they wished they didn't have emotions. While I do have my moments, I believe our emotions are what allow us to truly enjoy the great joys of our lives. The other side of the coin is that we feel the depth of despair.

Why do we women have so many drastic dips and spikes in our emotions? Well, we know hormones play a huge role, but what can we do about it? I've found that when I am eating healthier, exercising and spending time with God - I deal with my emotions much better. So, why do I get off track if I know these help me? Discipline. That's the key to balance and it's not always easy.

Discipline requires the death of one desire so another, better desire can grow stronger. I want to discipline myself to choose fruit over a baked good. That's going to take me choosing an apple even when I just want to shove a cookie in my mouth. I want to discipline myself to choose to jog over walking. That's going to take me choosing to run even when I'm tired. I want to discipline myself to read and pray everyday. That's going to take me choosing to manage my time better (and turn the TV off). I know fruit, running and my devotions are better for me than the alternatives. WHY is it so hard to choose them though? The wonderful world of fighting for discipline. Paul said that he did the things he didn't want to and didn't do the things he wanted to. We are not alone in this struggle.

Maybe if we start one piece of fruit at a time. One run at a time. One devotional at a time. Maybe then we can develop the discipline. Over time, with each victory, gaining more momentum. Maybe asking God for help. Asking Him to teach us how to live out the discipline we need.

God, I need Your help. I'm completely lost on my own.