One day
Not too far away
You will be free
Completely.
So near
His love denies fear
Capturing you
Making you new.
Secure
With vision so clear
Walking ahead
Hand in hand.
Constant
More than emotion
Joy abounding
Peace surrounding.
One day
Not too far away
You will be free
Completely.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Crisp
Reaching into my pocket
I pull out your heart
Crisp and cold
My icy fingers burn.
Handing it back to you
I know it isn't right
Soft and warm
My broken tongue lies still.
Red letters fall from my eyes
I watch them disappear
Frigid and alone
My forgotten love gone.
Dreaming of yesterday
I drift into that world
Crisp and cold
My icy fingers burn.
I pull out your heart
Crisp and cold
My icy fingers burn.
Handing it back to you
I know it isn't right
Soft and warm
My broken tongue lies still.
Red letters fall from my eyes
I watch them disappear
Frigid and alone
My forgotten love gone.
Dreaming of yesterday
I drift into that world
Crisp and cold
My icy fingers burn.
Monday, January 23, 2012
My Husband's Heart
After revealing my fears and hurt, my husband did his best to encourage me. I spent the rest of my lunch hour reminding myself of God's faithfulness and perfect timing. Still, I wasn't feeling complete peace. Then I got an email from him:
Babe I love you
Jesus bring Your peace to my wife’s heart
Please help her know Your peace continually in her mind
We give our desire for beautiful babies to You
We will continue to give it to You as oft as we need to
As oft as we need to
As oft as we need to we will run to Your arms
As husband I give You my desire to make everything “right”
As friend I give You my desire to heal with words
Only Your words heal
As I was reading, tears were flowing freely - with healing in each drop. To see his desire to love on me, encourage me, protect me, help me...be whatever I need, I was able to see through the stuff we've been facing and see my husband's heart - the beauty, humility and surrender to Jesus.
Thank you, babes, for loving me. Thank You, Lord, for bringing us together to walk this life alongside one another. Thank You, Lord, for always holding us close to Your heart - even though we need reminding.
Babe I love you
Jesus bring Your peace to my wife’s heart
Please help her know Your peace continually in her mind
We give our desire for beautiful babies to You
We will continue to give it to You as oft as we need to
As oft as we need to
As oft as we need to we will run to Your arms
As husband I give You my desire to make everything “right”
As friend I give You my desire to heal with words
Only Your words heal
As I was reading, tears were flowing freely - with healing in each drop. To see his desire to love on me, encourage me, protect me, help me...be whatever I need, I was able to see through the stuff we've been facing and see my husband's heart - the beauty, humility and surrender to Jesus.
Thank you, babes, for loving me. Thank You, Lord, for bringing us together to walk this life alongside one another. Thank You, Lord, for always holding us close to Your heart - even though we need reminding.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
My Version of the Daniel Fast
Our church is doing a Daniel Fast right now and pastor has asked everyone to think about something they can fast. I've decided to fast sugar in the form of baked goods, candy and drinks. It always seems easy at first. It even sounds alluring...maybe I will lose a vanity pound or conquer the sugar cravings. But then real life begins.
My flesh hits me in the face when I walk into the break room where coffee and creamer are calling my name. I start questioning if God really wants me to do this. I mean, I didn't really pray too much about it so maybe I shouldn't do it. In the afternoon, I see the left-over candy bars from a work event. What if I just have one bite-size snickers and start over tomorrow? God will understand. Right? It's interesting how soon we try to justify something when our flesh is weak yet in control.
I've done fine today but I can't say I am taking the opportunities to ask God to fill me and draw me closer to Him in those moments that I am abstaining. Isn't that part of the process - the whole idea? Why else am I doing this?
I think I've tried to make fasting convenient for my own life. I choose to fast sugar because it is a healthy choice. Should I fast TV? Nope - that would be highly inconvenient. Should I fast Facebook? Well, I did that once and it was hard. I think I remember having more time to do other things.
I am committed to my sugar fast, but I hope and pray there's an inner transformation to take place. More than anything, I want to know I am progressing on this journey and in my relationship with God. I can't say that I've seen much of that over the last year. I need more of Him and much less of me.
Lord, I ask You to help me seek You and draw close to You when I denying myself. I ask You to renew my spirit and help me to grow in You. I need You. I ask You for help. In the name of Jesus, amen.
My flesh hits me in the face when I walk into the break room where coffee and creamer are calling my name. I start questioning if God really wants me to do this. I mean, I didn't really pray too much about it so maybe I shouldn't do it. In the afternoon, I see the left-over candy bars from a work event. What if I just have one bite-size snickers and start over tomorrow? God will understand. Right? It's interesting how soon we try to justify something when our flesh is weak yet in control.
I've done fine today but I can't say I am taking the opportunities to ask God to fill me and draw me closer to Him in those moments that I am abstaining. Isn't that part of the process - the whole idea? Why else am I doing this?
I think I've tried to make fasting convenient for my own life. I choose to fast sugar because it is a healthy choice. Should I fast TV? Nope - that would be highly inconvenient. Should I fast Facebook? Well, I did that once and it was hard. I think I remember having more time to do other things.
I am committed to my sugar fast, but I hope and pray there's an inner transformation to take place. More than anything, I want to know I am progressing on this journey and in my relationship with God. I can't say that I've seen much of that over the last year. I need more of Him and much less of me.
Lord, I ask You to help me seek You and draw close to You when I denying myself. I ask You to renew my spirit and help me to grow in You. I need You. I ask You for help. In the name of Jesus, amen.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
New Life
I had been trying to nurse a peace lily into full bloom for a couple of years. I followed instructions for indirect sunlight and watered it once a week. No blooming. I waited patiently and sometimes not so patiently. No blooming. When I moved into another apartment, I brought it with me. When I moved to another state, I brought it with me.
I must mention that this particular peace lily was given to me after my cousin's funeral. He had tragically taken his life and it was a heartbreaking service. When it was offered to me, I questioned if I truly wanted it. It didn't represent peace to me and I wasn't even sure I could keep it alive. However, I saw the potential of what joy it could bring me and the challenge to nurture something so I adopted it for what I hoped it would become.
Three years later, on Easter morning, I walked into my living room to see it had a budding flower. I could not believe it! I was so excited I took a picture with my phone and sent it to my mom. Overjoyed, I stared at it with a sense of fulfillment.
As I sat there, I began to think about new life. God has called us to live this new life and He promises to be with us along the way. How many times has He taken care of me even though I wasn't "blooming" with beauty. I've had a bad attitude, I've held on to fears, I've allowed complacency to get between He and I - I've been a potted plant with no visible signs of bloom. Yet, He never gives up on me because He knows my potential for beauty. He sees beyond my stagnant growth.
New life is a promise. I pray that I share this promise with those who aren't showing the signs of bloom, with those who are in need of soulcare, with those who need it most. Lord, give me eyes to see through the rough, unkempt and fruitless exteriors.
I must mention that this particular peace lily was given to me after my cousin's funeral. He had tragically taken his life and it was a heartbreaking service. When it was offered to me, I questioned if I truly wanted it. It didn't represent peace to me and I wasn't even sure I could keep it alive. However, I saw the potential of what joy it could bring me and the challenge to nurture something so I adopted it for what I hoped it would become.
Three years later, on Easter morning, I walked into my living room to see it had a budding flower. I could not believe it! I was so excited I took a picture with my phone and sent it to my mom. Overjoyed, I stared at it with a sense of fulfillment.
As I sat there, I began to think about new life. God has called us to live this new life and He promises to be with us along the way. How many times has He taken care of me even though I wasn't "blooming" with beauty. I've had a bad attitude, I've held on to fears, I've allowed complacency to get between He and I - I've been a potted plant with no visible signs of bloom. Yet, He never gives up on me because He knows my potential for beauty. He sees beyond my stagnant growth.
New life is a promise. I pray that I share this promise with those who aren't showing the signs of bloom, with those who are in need of soulcare, with those who need it most. Lord, give me eyes to see through the rough, unkempt and fruitless exteriors.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Here I Stand
I never meant for my colors to bleed
I never meant for me to leave
But here I stand
Oh here I stand
Broken for the world to see
Lost inside and still searching
Here I stand
Oh here I stand
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never thought this would be me somehow
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never through this would be me somehow
But here I stand
Oh here I stand
Grasping for my purpose
I need more than this surface
But here I stand
Here I stand
Sifting through my perfect mess
Nothing more that I want less
Here I stand
Oh here I stand
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never thought this would be me somehow
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never through this would be me somehow
But here I stand Oh here I stand
I'm not walkin' away
No, I'm not walkin' away
I'm not walkin' away
No, I'm not walkin' away
I never meant for my colors to bleed
I never meant for me to leave
But here I stand
Oh here I stand
I never meant for me to leave
But here I stand
Oh here I stand
Broken for the world to see
Lost inside and still searching
Here I stand
Oh here I stand
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never thought this would be me somehow
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never through this would be me somehow
But here I stand
Oh here I stand
Grasping for my purpose
I need more than this surface
But here I stand
Here I stand
Sifting through my perfect mess
Nothing more that I want less
Here I stand
Oh here I stand
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never thought this would be me somehow
I never thought I'd be here now
No, I never through this would be me somehow
But here I stand Oh here I stand
I'm not walkin' away
No, I'm not walkin' away
I'm not walkin' away
No, I'm not walkin' away
I never meant for my colors to bleed
I never meant for me to leave
But here I stand
Oh here I stand
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