I lost it in Oklahoma and found it in Missouri

About four years ago, when I was taking off my earrings, one dropped out of my hands. I knelt down to find it, but it wasn't anywhere on the floor. Over the next few weeks, I checked the closet floor in hopes that I would find it. It was my favorite pair of stud earrings and I just couldn't stand the thought that I lost one in my own closet. It had to be somewhere.

Summer passed by and I didn't find it. Fall came and it was time for me make my move to Missouri. As I moved everything out of my closet, I looked around. When I vacuumed the closet one last time, I looked in every possible place...but never found it.

So, I moved to Missouri with only one earring. I kept it in hopes that I would still find the lost one. Sounds funny now, but I just couldn't give up. I moved all of my clothes into my new closet but no sign of my earring. To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking about it so when I stepped on something hard and it hurt my foot, I had no idea it would be my lost earring.

There it was. Sitting on the carpet. I lost it in Oklahoma and found it in Missouri. Seriously?! I rejoiced. I jumped up and down. I thanked God for sending me a little love note. He knew how much I liked those earrings. But, it wasn't just about something I liked. God taught me about hope and how something that appears lost may only be hidden for a season.

I've had my share of pain and heartache. There were times in my life that I thought I had lost the fun-loving girl I used to be. There were times in my life that I questioned what was happening to my life as it unfolded nothing like I thought it would. There were times in my life that I thought I had lost my dreams and didn't see how God would use me.

During those times of things "lost," God was still there. Though I felt I had lost parts of myself, what was dear to me, what I had envisioned for me life, God was still working in the unseen. He had it all in His capable hands. While I never gave up hope that He would sustain me and use my brokenness for His glory, I could not see the big picture of where my lost met His found.

With God, nothing is lost. He sees all, knows all and He cares about all. My tears weren't lost. My pain wasn't lost. My fears weren't lost. He was there in the darkest and most difficult times. The fun-loving girl He created me to be wasn't lost. The life I had envisioned wasn’t lost. The dreams He placed inside of me weren't lost. He was there, molding me into the person He could use.

Today, I stand on the other side of those times and I see how God took care of me. I see where His hand provided for me, guided my way and healed me. I also see where He has helped me find what I once thought was lost. Joy and laughter have returned. My life is so much richer than I had ever thought possible. My dreams are still coming to pass and He's giving me new ones.

Be encouraged. What may seem lost is still there - it may be hidden for a season and it may look a little different when you find it. When I found my earring, it sure shined brighter than it ever did before.

You Who Serve at Night

Recently I was recovering from surgery and had a lot of time to think, read, pray and become unbearably bored with daytime TV. During this time of recovery, I was bombarded with emotions, doubts, fears, hopes, dreams and everything in between. My mind tends to be a place of struggle. I needed to allow God in to help me win the battles that rage so I decided to take time each day to find some key verses that I could meditate on and rely on when I felt a mental storm brewing. One of those days, I came across these verses:

Psalm 134
Oh, praise the Lord, all you servants of the Lord,
you who serve at night in the house of the Lord.
Lift up holy hands in prayer,and praise the Lord.
May the Lord, who made heaven and earth,
bless you from Jerusalem.

I had probably read it several times not seeing it the way I did this particular time. I felt like I was reading about myself. I have served the Lord since I was fifteen. My life has gone down some pretty tough roads and I've had some pretty dark nights. So, this verse is about me and it's probably about you, too.

When I look around my world, I see...A tired mother trying to provide for her children while their father is in prison. A broken-hearted husband holding out hope that his wife will come back to him and God will restore their marriage. A single woman trusting God to bring her a mate while her friends and family marry and move on. A man who feels trapped in his job but he's waiting on God to open the right door. A wife who feels alone in her parenting and household responsibilities. A father praying for his prodigal children to find their way back to God. A woman who desires a child but month after month, it hasn't happened yet. And so many more devoted Christians going through their own personal "night" while they faithfully serve the Lord.

These verses are meant to encourage us during the dark nights - to reach out to Him. What a beautiful picture of praise through pain. Healing through brokenness. Trust through the unknown. My own personal "night" looks a lot like this:

I will praise the Lord,
even through the dark nights of sickness and heartache will I serve Him.
I will lift up my hands in prayer and I will praise the Lord.
I will count on Him, the maker of heaven and earth,
to heal me, make me whole and full of His joy as I journey on.

You who serve at night, joy and peace are yours in His presence.

For my friend, who perseveres with Hope

One day
Not too far away
You will be free
Completely.

So near
His love denies fear
Capturing you
Making you new.

Secure
With vision so clear
Walking ahead
Hand in hand.

Constant
More than emotion
Joy abounding
Peace surrounding.

One day
Not too far away
You will be free
Completely.

Crisp

Reaching into my pocket
I pull out your heart
Crisp and cold
My icy fingers burn.

Handing it back to you
I know it isn't right
Soft and warm
My broken tongue lies still.

Red letters fall from my eyes
I watch them disappear
Frigid and alone
My forgotten love gone.

Dreaming of yesterday
I drift into that world
Crisp and cold
My icy fingers burn.

My Husband's Heart

After revealing my fears and hurt, my husband did his best to encourage me. I spent the rest of my lunch hour reminding myself of God's faithfulness and perfect timing. Still, I wasn't feeling complete peace. Then I got an email from him:

Babe I love you
Jesus bring Your peace to my wife’s heart
Please help her know Your peace continually in her mind
We give our desire for beautiful babies to You
We will continue to give it to You as oft as we need to
As oft as we need to
As oft as we need to we will run to Your arms
As husband I give You my desire to make everything “right”
As friend I give You my desire to heal with words
Only Your words heal

As I was reading, tears were flowing freely - with healing in each drop. To see his desire to love on me, encourage me, protect me, help me...be whatever I need, I was able to see through the stuff we've been facing and see my husband's heart - the beauty, humility and surrender to Jesus.

Thank you, babes, for loving me. Thank You, Lord, for bringing us together to walk this life alongside one another. Thank You, Lord, for always holding us close to Your heart - even though we need reminding.

My Version of the Daniel Fast

Our church is doing a Daniel Fast right now and pastor has asked everyone to think about something they can fast. I've decided to fast sugar in the form of baked goods, candy and drinks. It always seems easy at first. It even sounds alluring...maybe I will lose a vanity pound or conquer the sugar cravings. But then real life begins.

My flesh hits me in the face when I walk into the break room where coffee and creamer are calling my name. I start questioning if God really wants me to do this. I mean, I didn't really pray too much about it so maybe I shouldn't do it. In the afternoon, I see the left-over candy bars from a work event. What if I just have one bite-size snickers and start over tomorrow? God will understand. Right? It's interesting how soon we try to justify something when our flesh is weak yet in control.

I've done fine today but I can't say I am taking the opportunities to ask God to fill me and draw me closer to Him in those moments that I am abstaining. Isn't that part of the process - the whole idea? Why else am I doing this?

I think I've tried to make fasting convenient for my own life. I choose to fast sugar because it is a healthy choice. Should I fast TV? Nope - that would be highly inconvenient. Should I fast Facebook? Well, I did that once and it was hard. I think I remember having more time to do other things.

I am committed to my sugar fast, but I hope and pray there's an inner transformation to take place. More than anything, I want to know I am progressing on this journey and in my relationship with God. I can't say that I've seen much of that over the last year. I need more of Him and much less of me.

Lord, I ask You to help me seek You and draw close to You when I denying myself. I ask You to renew my spirit and help me to grow in You. I need You. I ask You for help. In the name of Jesus, amen.

New Life

I had been trying to nurse a peace lily into full bloom for a couple of years. I followed instructions for indirect sunlight and watered it once a week. No blooming. I waited patiently and sometimes not so patiently. No blooming. When I moved into another apartment, I brought it with me. When I moved to another state, I brought it with me.

I must mention that this particular peace lily was given to me after my cousin's funeral. He had tragically taken his life and it was a heartbreaking service. When it was offered to me, I questioned if I truly wanted it. It didn't represent peace to me and I wasn't even sure I could keep it alive. However, I saw the potential of what joy it could bring me and the challenge to nurture something so I adopted it for what I hoped it would become.

Three years later, on Easter morning, I walked into my living room to see it had a budding flower. I could not believe it! I was so excited I took a picture with my phone and sent it to my mom. Overjoyed, I stared at it with a sense of fulfillment.

As I sat there, I began to think about new life. God has called us to live this new life and He promises to be with us along the way. How many times has He taken care of me even though I wasn't "blooming" with beauty. I've had a bad attitude, I've held on to fears, I've allowed complacency to get between He and I - I've been a potted plant with no visible signs of bloom. Yet, He never gives up on me because He knows my potential for beauty. He sees beyond my stagnant growth.

New life is a promise. I pray that I share this promise with those who aren't showing the signs of bloom, with those who are in need of soulcare, with those who need it most. Lord, give me eyes to see through the rough, unkempt and fruitless exteriors.